To Live Again
by Rurouni Star
Summary: [SK]Inu Yasha sends Kagome back to her world with harsh words... but worse consequences. Kagome refuses to give up Sengoku Jidai despite the danger to herself and ends up with the most unlikely of companions.
1. Where do I go from here?

Living Again By Rurouni Star 

A/N: *sighs* I don't know why I'm even doing this……… I have two unfinished fics bothering the heck out of me and other people……… I may as well announce that I'm definitely accepting guest fics for Ten Days because I am out of inspiration. For that matter, if anyone wants to submit ideas for 'If You Want Something Done Right………' go right ahead. I'm listening……… Heeeeelloooooo………

Inu Yasha: They're not listening.

How cruel! I see it now! All you want is the fic! I'm NOTHING to you people!

Sesshoumaru: Yes.

Anywho, he's just brought me back to my main point. Why I'm doing this. I really want to try to write some weird couplings. I'm starting off with a simple alternate, but I'm thinking of doing a Miroku/Kagome and maybe a Kouga/Kagome. But that's just me, people.

And now, what I know you've all been waiting for………that is if you didn't selfishly and heartlessly pass up my author's note (don't lie, I know you did). The story.

**Chapter 1 – Where do I go from here?**

A lone girl sat against a rock, sheltered from the faint moonlight that filtered through the clouds by a tree. But this was not just any tree. This was the tree. The tree that always brought her memories. 

She remembered having heart to heart talks with her mother there. She remembered praying there. She remembered crying there.

But most of all, the memory that she most wanted to forget at the moment and yet wanted to hold to her forever, was the vision of a boy all in red, still as death, pinned to the tree by an arrow and the vines that crawled up his body. He hadn't been breathing, but hadn't seemed dead. She still remembered……… his warmth. As if he'd been waiting there for her.

None of it mattered now, Kagome thought with a broken sob. It didn't matter to Inu Yasha that that moment was the turning point in her life or that she had definitely been waiting for him, though she hadn't known it at the time. Nothing about her mattered to him, obviously. She still remembered the cold and callous way he'd treated her.

_"It………hurts………" Kagome cradled the arm that Naraku's parting shot had injured._

_"Idiot." Inu Yasha spat at her coldly. _

_"W-what?" She'd expected at the least for him to ignore her, perhaps at best to tend to her wound._

_"You let him get away. It's your damn fault that he's still alive and some more people are going to die when he tries to come back together."_

_Tears threatened to fall. He was right._

_"You should have just stayed in your own time, bitch. In fact, you should go back there." Those tears did come out then, but she'd be damned if she let him see them. His last impression of her would be of cold, calm strength._

_"Maybe I will, then, Inu Yasha," she gritted out, ignoring the moisture on her cheeks. "In fact, if you don't need me, I think I'll leave and let Kikyo kill you. That's what you want, isn't it?" For a moment, she felt the slightest bit of guilt as his face turned anguished. It passed. The expression wasn't for her. It was for what Kikyo had become. The face, too, passed._

_"Go home." The sentence had a finality about it, and the fact that he refused to say her name only emphasized it. She felt her lip tremble, and a sob try to force its way out. Kagome bit down on it and fled before he could notice._

But he had noticed, Inu Yasha reflected in misery. He'd noticed because it had been exactly the reaction he'd been trying to get. When he'd returned to camp without Kagome, Miroku and Sango had only nodded sadly, knowing that he'd sent her home. Shippo, of course, was outraged, but Kirara held him back by his ponytail. 

Oh, if they'd only known how he'd sent her back. They would kill him.

He knew, though, that it was the only way. The only way to save the woman he loved. She would be safe in her time, and happy. 

He sighed tiredly, remembering how he had hesitated in taking the shards she possessed away from her. Inu Yasha hadn't been able to do it, though. He hadn't been able to take away his only hope.

If she would somehow come back after everything was over……… or after Naraku was defeated, he would be able to go to her and take back the shards………and apologize……… 

He knew the truth. He knew that it was too late.

But as long as he had that slim hope, he could keep going.

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Kagome hadn't returned home. Instead, she was looking down into the darkness of that cursed well. That well that had started everything. The miko in schoolgirl's clothing lifted one leg and hoisted herself up to the top of the well.

But then, her mind blanked.

_What am I doing?_

She couldn't do this. She couldn't be a coward and run away, just because Inu Yasha had been cold to her. Yes, it hurt, but she just couldn't bring herself to go running home in tears.

That had been done before.

No, it was her fault that this whole thing had gotten started. And she'd be damned if she let Naraku get away with all of the things he'd caused. Just the thought made her blood boil.

_Yes, that's right. I need to get angry. If I'm angry enough, maybe I can forget………_

That decided, she unhooked her leg from the well's rim and sat down on the ground before it. For better or for worse, she couldn't let herself go back. No, she couldn't even think of it, couldn't have the choice. And her family………her family was in danger if Naraku ever found out about her selfish secret, the place that could take her – or anyone with a Shikon shard – to the future. She had to………

The thought choked her, but Kagome was nothing if not strong. She had always been strong. She couldn't stop now, now that she had no one to rely on.

One hand came shakily out to touch the well's edge once more. But this time, instead of pulling herself up, Kagome whispered something beneath her breath in a sad, broken voice, and clenched it tightly. As her hand glowed, the tears she had thought beaten came out in a rush once more.

The glow strengthened a little momentarily, but then faded. The well was sealed.

No, not sealed.

The power within it was gone forever……… or until the once more whole and unbroken Shikon no Tama touched it with its power again.

She knew now, without a doubt, that the Shikon no Tama would never be whole again. Only its past form, which the past her possessed, was whole.

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It was odd, Sesshoumaru mused to himself as he watched Rin run in the rain happily. It was very odd how he had suddenly become so attached to such a weak thing without noticing it. Why did she have such an effect on him?

_I will never understand it,_ he murmured in his mind. _Therefore, it bears no thinking, or I shall drive myself mad._

That said (or thought), the demon lord gestured to his loyal retainer.

"Take care of Rin, Jaken. I have an errand." Of course, that errand was to track down and destroy the being that called itself Naraku. He had no idea when it would be accomplished, but this odd feeling called for it unceasingly. Just the thought of Rin being dead once more……… an involuntary growl escaped his throat as he walked, and the still blank-faced Sesshoumaru stopped.

_Since when have I lost control so easily………at least it is only in her case. _

He continued walking without stopping again.

But when the night had ended, Sesshoumaru could only come up with one conclusion: Naraku's scent was nowhere to be found, and he was therefore nowhere near him.

But someone else was.


	2. Lost

**To Live Again**

**By Rurouni Star**

A/N: I know, I was cruel leaving it off on that point. But have no worries. I will hopefully be updating more regularly with this story, as I know more of what I am going to do with it and have many more ideas. Be happy, people, and review!

Sesshoumaru: I, Sesshoumaru, am the only one giving orders around here.

Yeah, yeah…and what's with the third person thing? Has Rin been influencing you?

Sesshoumaru: …

**Chapter 2 – Lost**

Kagome stumbled through the rain tiredly, clutching her yellow backpack as if it were a lifeline (as, indeed, it was). It held all of the food the last village had given her and the only blanket she had, and the last of her first aid kit. She would need to ration that. Her poor mother would never be able to refill it. Of course, Kagome reflected, she was about to move off to college anyway. It really wasn't that different, she consoled herself.

Except that you couldn't phone Sengoku Jidai. And you couldn't visit either, or ask how things were going, or deliver fruitcake at Christmas.

She swallowed those tears again. What annoying things they were. She was strong! She didn't need them anymore.

Of course, it wouldn't hurt to cry now, in the rain. The tears were just more raindrops.

That said, she was cold and wet, and she needed to set up tent for the night. It wasn't that it wasn't tearing her up inside anymore – it was. But she was practical. And while she had once been willing to give her life up for Inu Yasha (and still would), she wouldn't give it up because of his scorn.

She was stronger than that.

_It's your damn fault he's still alive...more people are going to die..._

Maybe not. But it was good to pretend.

It was hard to set up the tent while she was crying and still cradling her wounded arm. But she somehow managed it. And she somehow managed to fall asleep, even though she was alone in a forest in Sengoku Jidai, without hope of ever seeing her mother, or anyone else that even cared, ever again. Even though the place was probably swarming with youkai and her bow and arrows that the village had given her were in her backpack and not beneath her pillow.

And then, just as she managed to fall asleep, the presence of a very powerful youkai that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere in her tent startled her to lucidity once more. No, she reflected tiredly as her gaze traveled up the white hakama to the two swords, the silver hair, and ultimately the Demon Lord of the West's inhumanly cold face, she had not sensed it. He had allowed her to sense it when he was under her very nose.

"So tell me, miko, how you came to such a pathetic state."

She simply raised her head defiantly and let her silence keep her dignity.

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How amusing. The girl was actually staring him in the eyes. Had she no sense of self-preservation?

The inu youkai's claw blurred to a place beneath her chin, cradling it ever-so-gently, yet showing her that he was capable of killing her without much effort at all.

"You'd stain your haori with dirty human blood," she said in a flat, emotionless voice. Rather like his own.

Yes, amusing indeed.

"Perhaps so. Perhaps not. One never knows. It is raining, after all, and the stain would probably rinse out in due time." He said this nonchalantly, as if he were talking about only the weather and not its effect on his decision to kill her.

The cold war continued, but Sesshoumaru had had much experience with hiding his emotions. He fully expected her to break down first.

But she surprised him. She kept the cold expression as if she really didn't have fear of death. Perhaps she didn't... that was absurd. Even he, Sesshoumaru, had fear of dying, though he would surely not let anyone know it.

"What are you waiting for?"

"Why aren't you with my 'dear' baby brother?"

Both sentences came out in a rush, and they seemed to answer each other as Kagome's breath hitched ever-so-slightly with his question.

"I thought so," Sesshoumaru said, tracing one claw lazily across her throat, drawing no blood but always coming ever so close to breaking the skin. "Did he have the decency to let you go before he mated with you or did he stain you first?"

That drew a rise from her, as he knew it would. _"Inu Yasha is not like that!"_

There was a moment of silence.

"Oh? Then why do you look like a beaten puppy?" Oddly enough, this was not giving him as much pleasure as it once would have.

Was it because of Rin?

"Who's the puppy here?" she shot back, now angered. The hand that had been grasping her chin suddenly tightened and began to squeeze.

"You seem to forget yourself." Kagome looked on the verge of crying.

Therefore, it completely surprised him when the flash of light threw him back from her and into darkness.


	3. What's in a name?

**Living Again**

**By Rurouni Star**

A/N: Another nice little cliffie. I think I'm getting better at them.

*ducks various thrown objects*

...Is it over?

*eeps as more come, and runs behind Sesshoumaru, who flicks them away and almost lazily grabs one*

Sesshoumaru: A rubber ducky? Honestly, you have no creativity.

Oh yeah? Look who just got royally whooped up on by a human girl!

Sesshoumaru: *moves aside, leaving her open to attack*

You TRAITOOOOOOoooorrrrrrrr... Ouchie.

By the way…   
  
Lilfrozenfire: I shall take that cookie, and raise you a scoop of chocolate ice cream ^_^  
  
Jessica M.: For all he knows, she's safe and warm at home taking those stupid tests. We'll see how long that lasts, right?

Angie: I thought that myself when I wrote it. Inu Yasha may be a bit lacking in the manners department, but he's good enough to know not to insult her like that.  
  
Taiyoukai-kai: Kagome is a very strong character. She'll be a bit weepy in this fic, but that's because she's wondering if what Inu Yasha said was true (it can't be nice being told people are dying for your mistake) and also because she got rid of her family, and she's stuck in Sengoku Jidai with an ice cube that couldn't care less. Sorry in advance – I think I might cry too.

**Chapter 3 – What's in a Name?**

Sesshoumaru groaned. His head hurt like hell... and what had happened to his hand? It was on fire.

Well, interesting. It was burnt, after all. 

But what was more interesting was the face that met his eyes as he opened them.

"Are you okay?" Kagome wasn't prepared for the snarl and the elbow that hit her in the stomach...fairly hard, actually. At least, she thought as she doubled over in pain, she hadn't heard any ribs crack. What surprised her was that Sesshoumaru not only didn't follow up on his attack, he put out a hand to help her up. Did he have a multiple personality disorder or was he PMSing? She might have laughed if she had any air.

Sesshoumaru didn't wait for her to recover and simply grabbed her hand and pulled her up roughly.

"Come with me." Where had that come from? Oh well. There really was only one possible response.

"LIKE HELL!" That certainly used up the last of her breath, but it succinctly summed up her feelings about the matter.

"I'm afraid you have no choice."

"Choice...you can't...force me. I'll just...do that...thingy again..." She was gasping for breath.

"You have no idea what you did, and I have a feeling that you cannot do it again at the moment."

_That one blast had more power than that undead miko could channel at her maximum. It is a tribute to the human, at the least, that she has not died from putting it through her body._

"What are you talking about?" she asked irritatedly. It seemed that she had regained her breath and most of her composure with it.

Silence was her answer. 

"Look, I'm wet and cold and tired. The least you can do is tell me why I'm supposed to go with you when you've tried to kill me at least two times that I can remember in recent history."

At first, Kagome thought he would be silent again. But he soon replied.

"You will help me destroy the being that styles itself Naraku."

Whatever he was expecting, she was guessing it wasn't laughter. For a moment, she thought she saw an expression approaching affront on his face, but she must have imagined it.

"And what is so funny, human?" That stopped her laughter immediately.

"Kagome."

"What, pray tell me, is 'Kagome'?"

"My name is Kagome. Not wench, not human, not bitch. Ka. Go. Me." That bit of expression that she was able to see changed to faint amusement. She began to think that he was purposely letting her see it to set her at ease.

"I can only guess where you picked up some of those interesting nicknames." The sentence was layered thickly with sarcasm. Obviously, he knew that his brother was not the most polite of beings.

"Yeah, well, it's Kagome. And I was laughing because if you'd simply said you wanted me to kill that bastard I would have. You didn't need to threaten me or insult me, you know."

"And you're saying that you wouldn't have screamed bloody murder for my worthless brother if I got within a hundred feet of you?" She stiffened, and decided that now, more than ever; she couldn't let any hint of what she was feeling out. However...

"I see. As you are currently unattached, it would be mutually beneficial for us to travel together for the moment." Sesshoumaru had seen through her pathetic attempt. Kagome stared at him.

She shook off her reluctance and slowly stretched out her hand to take his again. "I suppose so." She shook his hand, which probably confused him to no end, she reflected later. Amazingly, he showed no sign of confusion.

"Get together your things, _Kagome_, and we'll leave." She smiled sadly.

_"Go home."_

At least one person knew her name. Even if he was probably going to kill her in the end...

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"Jaken."

That single word made the reptile jump in astonishment. That was surely his master, as there were few others that could sneak up on him.

"H-hai, Sesshoumaru-sama?" 

"You will tell Rin that she is to come in from the rain. Then you will make some tea for all of us." He nodded somberly.

"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama." He began to move toward Rin when the scent hit him.

Another human scent.

"S-SESSHOUMARU-SAMA!" He spun around to see none other than Inu Yasha's wench, looking very lost, but surprisingly not scared. "You-" At first, Jaken had been sure that Sesshoumaru had allowed another human to join them. But then his mind began working again and he saw his master's genius. Of course he would never allow that dirty woman to join them. He had kidnapped her to get the Tetsusaiga. "What a good idea, Sesshoumaru-sama!" He ran toward the field that Rin had been in.

"Rin! Rin! Sesshoumaru-sama wishes your presence!" The girl was nowhere to be seen. "RIN! This is no time to be playing hide and seek! Get over here now!"

There was no response. Jaken began to grow worried. He took his eyes from her for one instant... there! A small rustling in the grass, only audible to a youkai's ears.

Jaken sped to the spot to find a sleeping Rin. Sleeping? She hadn't been tired before, but of course she had been romping around doing Kami only knew what children do for hours and hours.

How did she not get bored day after day?

Jaken took a quick look around to make sure no one was looking, and then tenderly lifted Rin up. She was quite a load, but she was a growing child, after all. Jaken carried her back to Sesshoumaru, his scowl replacing the gentle expression on his face the moment that he came within sight.

"She fell asleep in the field, Sesshoumaru-sama. Humans are so weak that they need to rest every dozen hours or so..." It scared him that Sesshoumaru merely raised an eyebrow and chuckled coldly. Rin shifted a bit, murmuring in her sleep and smiling as she always did.

Jaken didn't care for the girl. Really.

Sesshoumaru relieved him of his burden quickly enough to the complete and utter astonishment of the girl behind him. Kagome's brows were knit in concentration.

_Sesshoumaru, of all people...I can't be seeing this!_

"You want to ask something, _Kagome_?" he observed without turning around.

Again with the stressed name. Did he think she couldn't remember it on her own? The miko scowled.

"Nothing, _Sesshoumaru_," she muttered grouchily.

"That's Sesshoumaru-sama to you, you dirty human!" Jaken muttered at her, but she noticed that he was keeping his voice down so as not to wake the girl called Rin.

Oddly enough, before she could react to the comment, a stone skipped off of Jaken's head with more force than she'd ever seen applied to a rock.

"She prefers to be called Kagome, I am told," his master observed in an offhand manner. "In fact, she specifically requested to not be called simply 'human'." Jaken blinked his eyes furiously as he pulled himself up from the ground, and gaped.

"But...Sesshoumaru-sama...isn't she a prisoner?"

Now that was insulting. She temporarily forgot her surprise at Sesshoumaru's behavior.

"I came here of my own free will, thank you very much, you little lizard." She, too, kept her voice down. She wasn't expecting the elbow that came down on her head, even though it was a bit more of a cuff than an actual attempt at hurting her.

"As long as we're traveling together, it will be much more pleasant if we exchange courtesies, _Kagome_. His name is Jaken. Mutual courtesy." Sesshoumaru continued past her as if he hadn't just treated her like an unruly servant, and placed Rin gently beneath a tree.

Kagome rubbed her head with a confused expression.

_What is WITH him?_

"Would you _stop_ saying it like that?" she muttered irritatedly. "Kagome. Not _Kagome_. Goodness, you can insult me even without resorting to Inu Yasha's name-calling." Jaken stiffened from his place, fully expecting Sesshoumaru to rip her to pieces for saying that cursed name.

The inu youkai paused for a moment, and then, ever so slightly, the edge of his mouth curled upward into a smirk.

"Very well then, Kagome-chan."

Oh didn't that just tear it.


	4. Alone again

**Living Again**

**By Rurouni Star**

**Yuko:** Thank you! It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside!

**Lilfrozenfire:** It is currently… 5:10 PM. I'll take a chocolate malt, please? I may be a chocoholic, but at least I'm good at it!  
  
**Mistress Fluffy:** I couldn't believe it either. I don't usually know what I'm going to write before I write it, so Fluffy's behavior was a bit surprising to me as well. I think he'll have to be more careful about those slip ups in the future…

**Dragon of Sakura:** Here you go! I think I'll be updating every day, or close to it anyway. Might break on weekends (don't know how I've done it so far with exams and all *dies*).

**Malah Valvah:** Your question has been answered below. ^_~

**Chapter 4 – Alone Again**

"You…you…" She couldn't seem to come up with an appropriate response in the face of his condescending smirk. Sesshoumaru turned his back on her, ignoring the girl. Jaken snickered behind her, and if not for the memory of an annoying club on the head, she might have given in to rather violent instincts. Instead, she growled something beneath her breath and sat down below the biggest tree in the area. Trees were good for brooding.

Why in the world she wanted Sesshoumaru to call her Kagome instead of something more respectful was beyond her. It would probably scare her to death to hear him talk to her on an equal level, as he was constantly the epitome of refinement, despite missing an arm. She sighed, and her thoughts drifted as the others settled down to sleep. She had nothing to get ready, really. She could just sleep here.

The girl looked up at the sky, intent on finding some of the constellations that were there in her time. She let out a gasp as she saw the sky.

A moonless night.

What was he doing? Was he hiding from his enemies, or maybe he wouldn't do it without her to remind him of the dangers. What if Naraku caught sight of him? What if a demon attacked the village? What if… what if…

"You seem preoccupied, Kagome." She looked up in surprise.

"Don't you sleep?" she muttered angrily. 

"Occasionally. When the need strikes me." Kagome turned her eyes to the pile of bodies on the other side of the clearing, which included Jaken, Rin, An, and Un, all collapsed together and sleeping peacefully side by side.

"This is awkward," the miko said quietly.

"How so?" She still refused to meet his eyes from her place below the tree. Oddly enough, Sesshoumaru shared his brother's penchant for climbing tall things.

_It must be an inu youkai thing. I wonder if Inu Yasha went up there tonight even though..._ She shook the thought from her mind and continued her former trail of thought.

"I never imagined... I mean, all we ever did was fight you. I never even stopped to think about things like this. No one did. If we'd actually defeated you-"

"You were never anywhere close." Kagome silently disagreed with that statement, but continued as if she hadn't heard it.

"If we'd managed it somehow, what would have happened to them?" She sighed. The bad guys weren't supposed to have families, even families consisting of two headed mounts, human girls, and subservient reptiles.

"They would have lost my protection. They would be dead in a matter of days."

She stifled a cry of dismay, but the guilt subsided when she realized that the demon lord was smirking at her again. She didn't know how she knew, but she did.

"Play it up, why don't you?" she growled. "Nothing would have happened, would it?" A cold laugh met her ears.

"Nothing. Except that the girl would most likely cry herself silly. She's an odd human, getting attached to a demon." Kagome shook her head quietly.

"It's not that odd, really..." she murmured, thinking longingly of Inu Yasha and Shippo. But she couldn't return to them. Not with the way Inu Yasha...

_It's your fault...go home..._

The girl put her head in her hands, holding in the sobs that she could not let out if she wanted to stay strong. Sesshoumaru may have noticed, but he said nothing and did nothing.

She reflected sleepily that he was probably used to respecting people's privacy, as it was the thing he valued most. Thankfully, Kagome didn't have to deal with her problems for long, as the day had been tiring (and she'd gotten no sleep the night before).

As the girl's shaky breaths slowed to a deeper rhythm, Sesshoumaru thought back on her words.

"Not that odd. I suppose not. But when a demon gets attached to a human child..." Not needing nearly as much sleep as the girl, Sesshoumaru had much too long to ponder this.

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"Are you quite done with your nap?" a voice startled her into wakefulness.

Kagome's disoriented mind attempted to organize itself. Why in the world was she hearing Sesshoumaru's voice waking her?

Come to think of it, her biological clock told her that Inu Yasha should have impatiently woken her hours ago.

"I don't have any ramen left..." she mumbled hoarsely.

"I don't care about this ramen. Get up." 

Inu Yasha had never poured cold water over her before.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" She stopped as the last parts of her recent adventures clicked in her mind. Inu Yasha was never going to wake her up ever again.

Sesshoumaru was gazing coldly down at her with narrowed eyes.

"Humans are so needy," he muttered. "I have been awake since before dawn." Kagome blinked, her problems forgotten as she saw the sun peaking high in the sky. Afternoon.

She groaned.

"You know you didn't let me sleep the night before. You just grabbed me out of my tent. I have to make it up somehow." Sesshoumaru was no longer listening, but he certainly looked peeved. 

Actually, he always looked just a bit peeved.

"Come Jaken, Rin." The little girl was up, chasing the toad around laughingly. Jaken looked as though he was desperately trying to keep a scowl on his face, but he was failing terribly. Apparently, though the 'supreme master' had not yet spoken of it, they were going on foot so they wouldn't miss any traces of Naraku.

Kagome followed quietly behind them, picking up her backpack with considerable effort. What an idiot she'd been, leaving her bike behind. She felt a tugging on the strap of it, and looked down to see the little girl.

"Why is Kagome-nee-san carrying that big thing around?" she asked in a puzzled voice. Oh. So someone had let her know her name.

Kagome laughed nervously, feeling the toad's fierce gaze on her back. Geez, she never thought she'd see the day some youkai feared _her_ in the presence of a child. It was usually the other way around.

"I keep a lot of useful things in here. I have a tent and a blanket and some cooking pots and – oh! I have some candy!" Kagome stopped and began to rummage through the bulging pack. She was vaguely aware that the other two had stopped as well, looking on curiously.

Kagome pulled out a chocolate bar and handed it to the girl. She looked at it for a moment before pulling off the wrapping and taking a bite. Her face lit up.

"This is good!" Rin exclaimed excitedly, eating a bit more.

"Don't spoil your appetite," Kagome reprimanded her gently. "If you eat too much, you won't have room for your lunch."

_Which reminds me...did they even have breakfast? My stomach is rumbling._ She decided to shrug it off. She'd gone without food for long stretches before.

Rin reluctantly wrapped back up the chocolate and handed it back to Kagome, who decided that she would let the girl have more after dinner.

When she turned around, it was to Sesshoumaru's ever-impenetrable stare. She nearly stepped back in shock.

"Wh-what are you looking at?" she asked. "What? Is my shirt not tucked in or something?" The demon didn't respond for a second.

"Where did you get that?" She blinked, and then shut her eyes tightly, taking a deep breath.

"Home." The word released so much naked longing that she was surprised he didn't laugh at her.

Instead, Sesshoumaru turned around again, and they continued walking.

Lost in her own bleaks thoughts, Kagome didn't realize that they hadn't stopped for food all day.

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It was some time before the motley crew stopped for the night. In fact, they'd walked on into the darkness, far past when the moon's tiny sliver had appeared.

Kagome was still walking as if in a dream filled with shadows and quicksilver. 

_It's your fault._

_More people will die._

_Go home._

So few words, yet she had them memorized, engrained on her heart forever.

_Idiot._

She hadn't realized that the group had stopped until she ran into something that jerked her back into lucidity. The silver strands of Sesshoumaru's hair caught on the one tear that had gotten past her guard and destroyed it. Kagome backed away slowly.

"Sorry," she whispered.

There was no response. Sesshoumaru was only stopped for a moment by her clumsiness, but he was soon in his tree once again.

Kagome sighed and hugged herself, trying to warm her arms. The nights were chilly lately. Did that mean winter was coming?

It scared her that she didn't know anything about this world to which she'd committed herself.

_"Guess what, Kagome, I got an A on my test!"_

_"You look so lovely in that dress, Kagome. I feel like you're not my little girl anymore."_

_"I sealed up that well for you, so you never have to worry about it again. Aren't I a good grandfather?"_

Why on earth had she given all of that up just for a journey with someone that didn't care about her?

And why weren't her friends here when she needed them the most?

_"Go home."_

The tears she'd tried so hard to keep in refused to be denied anymore, and they refused to be soothed by her mental protests that everything would turn out okay in the end, and even by the soft babbling of the nearby river. Because she couldn't lie to herself in the middle of the night when she was all alone once more, reality staring her in the face.

She was frightened.


	5. Bumps in the road

**To Live Again**

**By Rurouni Star**

**Chapter 5 – Bumps in the Road**

_"Kagome." The voice surprised her._

_"What?"_

_"Why were you crying?" His eyes refused to meet hers._

_"You mean back there?" There was an uneasy silence. "Because I thought you might die."_

_"You were crying... for me?" Why was he so surprised? She'd been so worried! "Could you...lend me your lap?" Kagome was at first taken aback at the request, but she nodded her head and gently moved Inu Yasha onto her lap._

_"Is that a little better?" she asked hesitantly._

_"You smell good..." he said unexpectedly instead of answering her question._

_"What? I thought – I thought you said you hated my smell."_

_"That was...a lie..." Her heart sped up just a little. How could he make her feel this way with such simple words? Her hand smoothed back his hair as he fell asleep, breathing gently. _

_Kagome closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The scent that she herself had come to associate with Inu Yasha flooded her being. It made her feel comforted and protected._

_And warm. Always warm..._

The girl came awake with a start. Surprisingly, the sun wasn't up yet this time.

A dream... how could it have been a dream? It had felt so real... as if Inu Yasha really were there with her, comforting her.

But he hated her.

She sighed and pulled her knees to her chest. But something caught on them.

_A blanket?_

It was the blanket from her pack. The one she'd completely forgotten about.

_"I keep a lot of useful things in here. I have a tent and a blanket and some cooking pots..."_

But who... 

Kagome hugged the blanket closer to her almost involuntarily, and smelled the scent from her dream. 

_Inu Yasha? No. I'm fooling myself. This smell...this smell is a little different. Sesshoumaru then?_

Her gaze went to the top of the tree she rested against. Sesshoumaru was leaning against the trunk of the tree, watching the sunrise with a bored look. He surely knew that she'd woken, but he didn't seem to care in the least.

_Yeah right. Inu Yasha is the more likely candidate. In fact, a passing Naraku that was concerned I'd catch the chills would be even more likely._

Kagome shook her head and got up to replace the blanket in her pack. Her mind sure was wandering far lately. As she dragged her pack back to her place beneath the tree, she caught sight of the odd pile of beings again. They looked so peaceful and happy together.

For a moment, the miko wondered why Sesshoumaru didn't sleep in that pile of warmth. But then, the absurd picture of the cold demon lord smack dab in the middle made her stifle a laugh.

"Don't bother going back to sleep. The sun is almost up." The voice startled her as she sat back down against the tree.

"I wasn't planning to," she said in an annoyed voice. "I'm quite fine, thank you." What, did he think she got up at lunch every day? Inu Yasha would have had kittens...which was rather absurd considering that he was a male dog demon...

Kagome stopped that trail of thought immediately. She didn't want to think about Inu Yasha at the moment.

Instead, she went through that yellow backpack of hers, looking for her comb. Her hair was snarled beyond belief by now, being in the rain and mud... for that matter she needed a bath rather badly.

"How long until we leave?" she asked quietly. She knew he could hear her.

"An hour perhaps." Without another word, the girl got up and began to walk away.

Maybe she was expecting him to ask where she was going. He didn't.

*

*

*

*

*

One of the big advantages to this whole mess, Kagome decided, was that she didn't have to worry about peeping monks. She pulled off her now ratty uniform with a sigh, realizing that it wouldn't possibly do for the rest of her time in Sengoku Jidai.

Which would be forever.

The girl shook her head unhappily and tried to focus on the matter at hand. Her soap and shampoo wouldn't last long – she'd save it for special occasions when she was feeling even more dirty than usual. Kagome slipped into the cold water with a shiver and hurriedly dunked her hair. The mud flaked away in droves, making her very aware of just how dirty she was. Kagome scrubbed at it furiously, determined to get every speck off of her.

Eventually, the water became too much for her, and she made her way out, shivering uncontrollably. She would miss hot water so much.

Drying off with a towel, the girl looked critically at her only other set of clothes. The ones the villagers had provided her with. She had never used them, and with good reason.

_"Take it off."_

_"OSUWARI!"_

Well who would, after that whole episode? She rolled her eyes.

"I don't care what he thinks anymore," she pledged to herself. "This won't make me her. I'll still be me where it counts." With that, she pulled on the loose clothes of a priestess and began the tiring work on her hair.

They were very comfortable, she had to admit. And there'd be no more stares...she'd be a respected miko...and no more stupid comments about her short skirt.

It was a good change.

So why did she feel so stupid wearing the clothes?

Because, she thought sadly, she didn't fit them. She wasn't a miko. Not a real one, anyway.

Defiantly, Kagome left her hair down. There was no reason to complete the look.

The girl let the water of the river run over her uniform gently and stowed it inside her towel in her pack.

She made it back to the tree with a few minutes to spare, but everyone was already up and waiting. Sesshoumaru had misjudged the time.

But Sesshoumaru never misjudged anything...unless...

Nah.

Of course, the awkwardness was all worth it when the three people (and demons) turned her way. There were two surprised expressions.

Rin's was not one of them.

"Kagome-nee-san looks so cool! Is Kagome-nee-san a real miko?" She winced inwardly.

"I'm only borrowing these clothes, really. My other outfit isn't suitable for the kind of travel we do." Well, it hadn't been that way with Inu Yasha and it still wasn't that way.

Sesshoumaru had regained the small composure he'd lost.

He made up for it with a scathing comment. "You almost look respectable in those clothes."

Or compliment. She couldn't really tell with him.

"Yeah, well, as soon as I can find a village, I'm getting something better. I hate these clothes." _With a passion._

The demon lord raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything else.

"We're traveling different today," Rin told her happily. "Sesshoumaru-sama says that the bad guys aren't around here, so we're going to go somewhere else." Kagome blinked.

"Surely there isn't room on your animal-"

"An and Un. No, we're taking the big cloud." Kagome could only guess at what this was before her feet lifted off of the ground. It was her turn to be surprised.

"Close your mouth, miko." Sesshoumaru had inexplicably stopped calling her by her name.

_"I'm not a miko!"_ she burst out angrily.

There was a slight pause.

"I mean..." She clutched her pack closer, remembering the blanket inside. "I'm not a miko. My name is Kagome," she said again in a weaker voice.

There was no affirmative answer, but she had the feeling that Sesshoumaru had agreed nonetheless.

"But Sesshoumaru-sama, doesn't she look just like-" Jaken was interrupted by his master before he could finish.

"If you finish that sentence, Jaken, I shall be forced to do something unpleasant."

Kagome still did not understand him.

She doubted she ever would.


	6. A sickness within

**To Live Again**

**By Rurouni Star**

**Suki:** Thanks for the encouragement!****

**Ref:** I'm sorry, she does look like Kikyo. That's what Inu Yasha thought when he saw her like that, so I gotta stick by what happened. Also, I don't really have a bad opinion of Kikyo as a character. She hasn't really killed anyone yet (bar Inu Yasha – and that was once, I swear…) and she's even helped out a few times even if you put that against the shards she's stolen. I think she's just really confused. If I were dead, I feel I would also be very confused.

**ClawDieAH: **That's how I like them! FYI, Sesshoumaru doesn't actually like Kagome even in this chapter. My idea of his character is that he always repays debts… of which he has a few to her.

**Chapter 6 – A Sickness Within**

Certainly, the time seemed to fly (literally) when they were on the cloud. It was like riding on Kirara, but it was so much more amazing. The ride was completely smooth, excepting the air that rushed past her, ruffling her now loose clothing. So this was what flying was like. What everyone dreamed of doing.

Kagome loved it.

If only her classmates could see her now, wouldn't they all be envious?

Oh right. They'd soon think her dead. How else could her family explain her disappearance?

Another bleak thought that was soon brushed away by the freedom of the sky. For now, all of her troubles floated away with the breeze. They'd have to catch her up here.

Rin clambered into her lap with a giggle. She had foregone riding on An and Un to sit with Kagome.

"Kagome-nee-san looks very happy," she observed in her childish way. Kagome smiled at her.

"I am, Rin. It's nice up here." Rin fidgeted a bit, obviously burning to ask her something, but holding herself back. Kagome's smile widened. "What is it, Rin? Do you want something?" The little girl hesitated a moment.

"Does Kagome-nee-san have any more of that food? Cho-choko-"

"Chocolate? Oh yes, I almost forgot. I was going to give you some after dinner-" She stopped abruptly. "But there never was dinner." Her stomach growled loudly. "I suppose I should get some food out from my pack for me too."

Sesshoumaru's head turned slightly to regard her with an incredulous (for him anyway) expression.

"You haven't eaten for two days?" he asked flatly. She nodded slowly.

"I mean, there never was- you never-" He sighed in exasperation.

"Idiot. Why do you think I let Rin stop every few hours?" Kagome blinked, a few pieces falling into place.

"You mean she forages for food?" she murmured in an amazed voice. "Wow. I couldn't forage for food in my pantry at that age." Sesshoumaru ignored the foreign expression and turned away again.

Kagome became annoyed. Why did he even ask at all if he didn't care?

Her attitude disintegrated as she felt the cloud begin to lose altitude. They were soon floating inches from the ground, and their odd transport disappeared, and Kagome dropped to the ground in surprise.

"Thank yo-" Sesshoumaru was in another dratted tree. 

_More than just tree hugging runs in the blood. Inu Yasha never stays to listen to thank you's either._

Surprisingly, she only felt a little twinge from thinking of him. Perhaps it was because Rin was tugging at her hand excitedly.

"There's some really good berries over here!" Kagome began to follow her, when something tugged at her mind. She stopped. "Kagome-nee-san?" Something was definitely wrong, if only she could put her finger on it... oh no. With a sinking feeling, Kagome realized that Rin was much hotter to the touch than she should have been.

"Rin..." she started. "Are you...feeling okay?" The little girl blinked, and then got on her tiptoes, motioning for Kagome to bring her ear down.

"Rin doesn't feel good. But Rin doesn't want to slow down Sesshoumaru-sama. Rin will feel better once Rin has eaten."

"You should tell me when you aren't feeling well, Rin." Kagome nearly jumped out of her skin at Sesshoumaru's voice behind her. Wasn't he in a tree?

The little girl made a face. "But Sesshoumaru-sama is always angry when we go slow." 

"I would be more angry if we had to stop once you were much worse." Kagome, meanwhile, had placed a hand on the girl's forehead.

"Actually, I'm afraid it's already very bad." Sesshoumaru looked at her sharply.

"You are a doctor?" Kagome shook her head.

"Everyone knows about fevers. I'd guess hers at maybe thirty-nine degrees celcius. I think we're going to need to stop now." Sesshoumaru seemed to not understand what she was talking about, but he didn't say a thing. "It's a measurement of heat," Kagome said in an annoyed voice. The demon lord turned around.

"I didn't say anything."

"I know," Kagome muttered. "But you thought it. When you want to know something would you go ahead and ask instead of making me feel so weird about it?" Sesshoumaru's expression hardened for an instant, and he looked as though he were going to say something cold to her. But his face relaxed, as he visibly regained control.

"What do you suggest we do to bring down her fever?" At least he knew that too much heat wasn't a good thing.

"Do you know anything about herbs?" she asked him. Sesshoumaru looked as though he would rather kill her than admit that he didn't, but he simply shook his head.

"I know about herbs," Jaken interrupted loudly. "What do you require?"

Kagome quickly searched her head for her lessons with Kaede. "White Willow root. Although I'm not sure if it grows around here." Jaken was already gone.

Kagome opened her pack of many things once again, searching for her teakettle. A hand reached past her and picked up the whole thing...then dumped it on the ground.

"Wh-what was that for?" she asked Sesshoumaru angrily. He picked up the teakettle from the pile.

"You can clean up the mess later." With a sigh, the girl looked around ineffectively for something. "The river is too far for you to hear it with your ears," Sesshoumaru supplied coolly.

Kagome blinked. "I didn't-" at the look on his face, however, her mouth went into an 'oh'. "Rin," she called back, "sit down somewhere shady and try not to move too much." She looked back at the demon lord. "Which way?"

She was definitely not prepared for the arm that grabbed her around the waist. Kagome went nearly beet red before she realized that Sesshoumaru was going faster than she could see.

In what seemed like only a minute or so, they were at a small brook, the small clearing nowhere in sight.

"Get what you need," he told her. Kagome gulped and complied with his order, still feeling flushed. The hand that brushed her forehead did not help in the least. "You seem to have a small fever yourself. Perhaps you should get more water for yourself." The cold voice and completely different behavior sent her mind reeling.

Kagome nodded mutely and let the river flow into the kettle so that it was filled three quarters. Before she could even let Sesshoumaru know, she was being carried back again, the water sloshing in the kettle, but none of it spilling.

Before five minutes had passed, she was back in front of Rin with a small pile of wood in front of her and a soaked piece of her uniform in hand.

Jaken arrived soon after, bearing the required herb. Frankly, Kagome hadn't expected it so quickly, but she was grateful, as Rin's fever had progressed quite a bit. With a simple word, Jaken's staff started the fire easily. Kagome laughed nervously and offered it to Sesshoumaru.

"Do you think you might...ah...I don't really have a knife..." The demon raised an eyebrow and snorted, and the root was soon in many, many pieces.

The unanimously elected herbalist set the concoction boiling and ran the excess water over Rin's forehead.

"Rin is sleepy..." the girl complained. Kagome shook her head.

"You can go to sleep once the tea is ready. Until then, you can't go to sleep." Rin made a face, but struggled to stay awake, occasionally beginning to nod off before Kagome shook her back to alertness. In what seemed like hours, the tea was finally ready. Kagome lifted up a cup of it to Rin, who drank it all in one gulp and gratefully curled up and went to sleep.

Kagome sighed in relief, and turned to start dismantling the fire. She nearly knocked over another small cup of tea.

_I know I didn't pour that one._ She blinked and scanned the clearing. _And where in hell did Mr. High and Mighty get off to?_

Jaken cleared his throat, distracting her attention from the puzzling situation.

"I would drink that if I were you," the toad told her in a pompous voice. Kagome once again thought on the unfairness of the world, but drank the whole thing down. She had been feeling a bit on the dizzy side lately, but that could have been because of many things. Her sickness was not the kind that would be helped by tea.

It was a bit later that Sesshoumaru reappeared, and Kagome could not have been more surprised when he thrust a small sack at her.

She opened it to find a large assortment of food, including some of the more sustaining food from her pack. She swallowed, trying to put together the cold image she'd seen with the food in front of her.

"Humans are more trouble than they're worth," the demon muttered, just loud enough for her to hear.

_That explains it._

For a moment, she'd actually thought he was thanking her for taking care of Rin. But Sesshoumaru wasn't like that.

"Well excuse me for being a human," she muttered back.

But she did eat the food.


	7. Unprepared

**To Live Again**

**By Rurouni Star**

**Chapter 7 – Unprepared**

As much as Kagome liked flying, she knew for sure that there were Shikon shards drawing near now. She couldn't hope it was a feeling anymore.

"Sesshoumaru," she asked. The demon made a sound to let her know he was listening. "There are Shikon shards up ahead."

This had a different effect than she'd anticipated. The demon had turned around completely to face her, his expression as close to surprise as she'd yet seen it.

"How do you know?" he asked. Kagome stared back at him.

"I can sense them. Didn't you know?" she said. His expression went blank again. Once more than damnable shell was up. If it weren't for those short bursts of emotion, she would never think him anything more than a vegetable.

"I was not aware. But it is no concern of mine. We are hunting Naraku."

Kagome's mouth fell open.

_But...the shards...they're..._

She wasn't used to them not being paramount. They always stopped when they felt a shard. Always.

The girl looked down at the small bottle of shards around her neck. There were only three. And each one had come at the price of many human deaths.

_"More people will die..."_

"NO!"

Sesshoumaru had begun to turn around again, to ignore her once more, but her desperate reply had once more surprised him.

"Why?" the word was filled with obvious annoyance.

"Because...because people will die..." The demon lord looked almost confused for a moment before understanding flickered behind his eyes.

She was human. He'd almost forgotten it. How had that happened?

"We are not stopping for such a nuisance." He could not let himself forget again. She was human. She was inferior.

She did not matter.

Jaken nodded self-righteously. "You are very wise, Sesshoumaru-sama. We can't slow our hunt of the disgusting hanyou just for some pathetic humans."

Rin simply sat beside Kagome, humming to herself. 

  
Didn't she realize that people like her would die?

No. She was only a child, there was no way she could know. And she would always follow her Sesshoumaru-sama.

"It's okay, Kagome-nee-san," the girl said. "Sesshoumaru-sama is good. Sesshoumaru-sama won't let anything bad happen, so Kagome-nee-san can relax if Sesshoumaru-sama says she can."

Kagome stared at the girl for a moment. She turned her gaze from her, angry tears pricking at her eyes. How could he? How could he just let the shards wreak havoc while he stood by with the power to stop it?

And why wasn't she doing anything? It was her fault the jewel was broken.

_I will not be subservient! I am not his servant or his child! I don't care if he cares; I'm going down there somehow. And I am NOT going to keep my head low as if he could rule me!_

"Let me down," she said quietly, looking directly into his eyes.

Apparently, this was not what he had been expecting from her. The cloud began to lower as he instinctively obeyed. He realized too late that he had made a mistake. Sesshoumaru could not raise it again without making it look as if he had second-guessed himself. He sent a cold glare at her, but she simply set her lips into a determined line.

They came to the ground a ways from where she had felt the shards. Sesshoumaru snorted.

"You told me yourself that you are not a miko. Why risk your life for people you don't know?" The girl clenched her teeth and once again risked his stare, quailing inside.

"Because it's the right thing to do...if that makes me a miko then I don't care." She marched away stiffly, ignoring the three stares leveled at her retreating back. "I'm still not her," she reassured herself.

Sesshoumaru shook his head. What a foolish girl.

*

*

*

*

*

Kagome ran as fast as she could toward the shards. She knew immediately that there was great carnage associated with these shards, and nearly wept with her need to get there. No one else could die because of her mistake. It was one of the reasons she'd stayed.

The scene she emerged on made her stop in her tracks. A spider demon, gorged on the strength of the Shikon shards, was ripping the small village to shreds, tearing into the men that dared to stand against it as if they were paper.

She reached for her bow and arrows, hoping that she could take it down quickly, with no more people needing to die.

But they weren't there.

Panic overwhelmed her. She couldn't do anything without them. Why had she not thought to bring them?

Kagome bit her lip and hurried toward the battle anyway. This was her mistake. If she had to pay for it... then so be it.

"Move! Get out of the way and run while I hold it off!" The villagers scattered at her authoritive voice.

"A miko!"

"Thank Kami, we're saved!"

Kagome held in another sob. She wasn't going to last long. If they relied on her too much and stayed, they would die with her.

"LEAVE NOW!" The spider demon finished its meal and sized up the new threat. Only a girl. It could eat her easily. It heaved its bulk into a crouch, getting ready to pounce on her.

Kagome stared at it hopelessly. At least the villagers had run away.

*

*

*

*

*

"Kagome-nee-san left her stuff," Rin observed in a voice filled with childlike amusement. "She doesn't know that Sesshoumaru-sama is always right." Jaken nodded.

"We are well rid of that human trash." Instinctively, Sesshoumaru's hand reached out to flick the demon on the forehead, sending him off of the cloud and into the dirt.

"Mutual courtesy, Jaken," he reminded him coolly. The toad demon nodded weakly, and pulled himself to his feet, brushing himself off.

It was then that the demon realized the full impact of Rin's statement. The idiotic girl had left her bow and arrows, her only real defense. Sesshoumaru nearly let out a growl of frustration, but held himself back at the last moment.

Why did it matter?

_I will be able to observe her in battle. Perhaps she will prove her odd need to save humans worth my while if she is powerful enough,_ he thought to himself.

Sesshoumaru wordlessly picked up the weapons and stepped from the slowly dissipating transport. Jaken stared at him.

"I would like to see this woman in battle. Take care of Rin, Jaken." An and Un nudged the little girl a bit, making her giggle and climb into their saddle once more. Jaken nodded, understanding.

"I do not think she will prove interesting. The girl will probably get herself killed." Sesshoumaru smirked once more, though there was no one to see it.

"Perhaps. Either way, I will be back soon."

*

*

*

*

*

 The girl took a deep breath as the thing eyed her, preparing to spring. Now that she could look at it while it was still, she saw the shards. One in its head and one in its mouth... those would be hard to get. Kagome winced. Well, it wasn't like her chances were too terrible.

She'd evaded Inu Yasha even when she was new to the era. She's survived Hiten and Manten, the miko eater, Naraku...

Oh yeah. And Sesshoumaru.

She had to smile at that, even as death was staring her in the face.

"Come on you big, ugly thing. Come get dessert."

It seemed to understand that she was insulting it. The spider leapt at her, and Kagome rolled to the side as its pincers came down where she'd been.

It wasn't over yet, though. The miko kept rolling, fully aware that she was constantly an inch from death. It had eight legs. She was the only target.

Something went clean through her leg, and she was vaguely aware of a scream. As no one else was around, she decided that it must have been hers. Kagome shook off the considerable pain and got to her feet, starting a run toward the trees. She had to hold it off. The trees would give her more cover and help her stall for time.

But she wouldn't be able to make it, and she knew it. Not only was her leg limping on every other step, not only had she already lost quite a bit of blood, but she was beginning to feel a numbness spreading through her. The Shikon shards had made all of its attacks poisonous.

She stumbled while still hundreds of feet away. Her legs would not obey her anymore. With a shiver in her spine, she turned to face her death. It came quickly and eagerly.

She nearly closed her eyes, but then decided that if she were going to die, she would face it head on. Therefore, she was very surprised when a bow and her arrows thudded down from heaven.

Well, someone was watching out for her. It probably was not Kami, though.

Kagome's arms shook as the poison began to affect them, but she lifted the bow nonetheless and pulled back the arrow. She shakily aimed for its forehead, where a shard glittered malevolently.

"I can't miss," she told herself. And she had to let the arrow go quickly or the poison would completely take control of her arms.

She let the arrow go and, appropriately she thought, began to pray. Her aim had been off from her shaking arm.

It hit the thing, not in the head, but in the throat.

_Well,_ Kagome thought, oddly happy for someone in her situation, _that's good enough for me._

Blackness claimed her.

A/N: Oh come on people, you don't expect me to let her die, do you?

Kagome: …

Okay, so maybe that is the kind of thing I would do. In fact, I'm thinking about it… so you'll have to see my decision in the next chapter. Muahahahaha!


	8. Courtesy

**To Live Again**

**By Rurouni Star**

A/N: Oh fine, Kagome, have it your way.

Kagome: You're cruel, you know that?

Yeah, but it's not on purpose. Well people, she didn't die, though I really, really, really wanted to kill her off. 

Kagome: *glares*

**SilverQuick:** I'm so happy! I'm officially stalked! As I said to another reviewer, don't worry – I'm updating every day. It always gets me mad when people don't update quickly, or when they even leave a story to rot. So again, don't worry. ^_~ By the way, my favorite mutual courtesy bit is right in here. It won't be what you expect.

**Dragon of Sakura:** Not dead, not dead. Happy? *grumbles* Hear that Kagome? You're not dead.

**Amarome: **I swear the cliffhangers are unintentional. I swear. *crosses fingers behind back* As for when they next meet, I've got that all planned out in this sadistic, twisted little mind of mine. And, although I hate to ruin it, it's definitely an S/K, although I've had lots of temptations to the contrary. I wanted to challenge myself to write alternate – it wouldn't be alternate if Inu got the girl…

**Chapter 8 – Courtesy**

_Odd. Was death supposed to hurt like hell?_

_Maybe she was in hell?_

_But what could she have done to deserve it?_

_"It's your fault..."_

_She whimpered. It was her fault, but she'd been trying to make up for it! She'd given up her home, her hope, her dignity... and now her life._

_The shadows around her whispered savage things in her ears, telling her about the things she'd done. She'd nearly let herself forget some of them. Kagome cried pitifully at the smallest infraction. Her mind felt strangely clouded, and everything was magnified. The sounds, the whispers, the smell of blood..._

_"I DID MY BEST!"_

_The shadows coalesced into one solid entity, apart from the hellish place. It leapt at her, just as the spider had, and jumped down her throat, choking her. No matter how she tried, though, no matter how many times she spit it out, it kept invading her mouth. _

"Would you just drink the tea?"

Kagome stopped her thrashing. Her eyes opened to slits, and she gazed up at the figure fearfully. Silver hair and golden eyes...

"Idiot human."

_"Idiot..."_

"No," she whispered brokenly. "No, I'm not. I'm not. It's not my fault. I did what I could..." A warm hand touched her forehead.

"It is expected that you would have a fever. Just the universe trying to get back at me, I suppose." Kagome stopped shaking and closed her eyes as the scent she associated with comfort reached her.

"I thought I'd lost you forever," she murmured quietly, grasping the hand tightly.

Those molten golden eyes stared down at her in slight surprise.

"Inu Yasha..."

*

*

*

*

*  
Sesshoumaru stared at the girl that clung so tenaciously to his hand. Why had he even bothered bringing such a problem back?

True, she had defeated the monster. But she had been poisoned and grievously wounded. If she had died, he had doubts that even the Tenseiga would be able to revive her, with that poison coursing through her veins.

He should have let her die.

She was only a human.

So why had he brought her back? Tenseiga had not prompted him this time. The sword had nothing to do with his decision.

Why?

The answer came in the form of a little girl that invaded the slight tent the girl had brought with her.

"Is Kagome-nee-san going to be okay?" Rin whispered sadly. Sesshoumaru looked at her a moment before nodding slightly.

The girl's face lit up happily, and she made as if to dash to the sickened girl's side. Sesshoumaru shook his head, effectively stopping her. He couldn't quite hold her back with his arm in any case, as it was currently imprisoned with the troublesome miko.

"Stay outside, Rin. If you disturb her, it will take longer." The truth was that he was still not entirely sure that she would make it. He had been able to extract most of the poison from her blood, but it was still there. At least the tea would help with her fever. Sesshoumaru's memory was impeccable.

_"White Willow root. Although I'm not sure if it grows around here..."_

Jaken was currently dredging up all of the little knowledge he had of herbs to try to strengthen Kagome. She'd lost too much blood to effectively fight back against the poison.

Rin reluctantly left the tent, and he returned his gaze to the odd human. Why on earth would she mistake him for his half-brother? True, their hair was the same, but the eyes were slightly different, and his features were definitely unlike his brother's.

It must have been fever hallucinations.

The demon lord thought of prying his hand from hers, but the desire to do so was not there. Something struck him as he looked at her, something almost like pity...

"But I do not pity," the demon muttered to himself in an almost detached way.

He jerked his hand from her, and began to listen for Jaken's return.

*

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*

*

Kagome finally awoke in a coherent state three days later. She felt, for lack of a better word in her clouded mind, like crap.

She sat up weakly and caught sight of the one thing she remembered from her fever dreams – golden eyes.

"In-"

"Try again." Kagome's eyes widened.

"Sesshoumaru!" The demon narrowed his eyes.

"You have held me up for three days because of your foolish, masochistic bravery. I should have let you die." Kagome's mouth moved, but no words came out. He continued to glare at her.

She said the first thing that came to mind. "Why didn't you?"

Silence. She had learned that when he did not want to answer something, he did not.

"Fine. Go ahead and blame me. But did I kill the spider?"

More silence.

Kagome inhaled sharply, and pushed the blanket off of herself, ignoring the stabbing pain in her leg. All the while, her mind was chanting at her a mantra of hopes.

_I hope no one died._

_I hope I at least hurt it._

_I hope it didn't happen._

_It would all be my fault._

_Again._

A clawed hand snatched her arm before she could leave. Sesshoumaru let go of it and picked up the small bottle hanging from her throat.

It had five shards in it.

Kagome sank to the ground in relief. "Thank God..." Something hit her and her eyes flashed angrily. "Why didn't you let me know sooner? It would have been my fault!"

"I don't care." The emotionless voice only angered her further.

"Maybe you should!" Sesshoumaru pretended not to hear her.

"Lay back down before you undo the hard work I spent on you, human."

The girl's hands trembled in her lap as tears streamed down her cheeks. She bit her lip and stood once more, not looking up. He had saved her only because she had saved Rin. And to say such terrible things after everything she'd been through with them…

Her hand flashed out more quickly than Sesshoumaru could have possibly anticipated.

The slap echoed through the night.

"Mutual courtesy," she whispered coldly.

Because that was all she was to him.


	9. Time for a change

**To Live Again**

**By Rurouni Star**

*A squeal of delight is head* 

YAY! 50 reviews! Thank you everyone! Just for you guys, our favorite demon lord gets to start thinking about their relationship (as in none right now) in this chapter! Of course, I'm slowly developing an addiction to reviews, now. That will be a problem. Therefore, if anyone wants to put a little note about my author name at the bottom of their fics, I'm certainly not stopping you. ^____^

**Dragon Queen:** I hate spiders too! That's why I put it in. I mean, I'm not scared of bugs, flies, even mosquitoes. I've picked up a cockroach before. But show me a spider and I'll run for the hills.

**Aphiopsyduck: **Thanks for all the reviews! Makes me all warm and fuzzy inside! Actually, what I was inferring in that chapter was that Sesshoumaru had deliberately miscalculated the time, letting her take her time instead of rushing her.

**Dragon of Sakura:** Yes, I let her live… *grumble, grumble* I still have regrets about that. Oh well. She's Sesshoumaru's problem now. And what a big problem she is at the moment…

**Chapter 9 – Time for a Change**

Sesshoumaru stared after her as she entered the tent.

Had a human just hit him? Just slapped him in the face for calling her what she was?

_"I don't care."_

_"Well maybe you should!"_

He rubbed the fast fading spot of red skin on his face. Had Jaken or Rin been awake, he would have felt marginally embarrassed. First his brother, and now his wench.

Everyone was beating on demon lords these days.

Sesshoumaru never forgot that he was missing an arm because of that half-breed.

_"Maybe you should!"_

Had she been a demon, any kind of lowly demon, he might have considered this more seriously. As it was, Sesshoumaru was wondering why he thought of it at all.

Of course, had she been a demon, none of this would have happened.

Was that the problem?

Sesshoumaru paused in his thought. If he had treated her like a demon in the first place, would the outcome have changed? He had insulted her terribly, making her stalk off in a fury, forgetting her bow. Had he treated her differently, she may have taken it. And he wouldn't have had to spend three useless days bringing her back to health.

Perhaps he should consider this. She was still a human, but this idea had merit.

The thought that he should kill her, somehow, never crossed his mind.

*

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Kagome lay by herself, trying to sleep.

But she couldn't sleep.

She was still too furious. That jerk! That bastard! He had no right to treat her like dirt! For all that he had kept her alive, she hated him.

No. That wasn't right. She hated herself for the utter contempt she'd seen in his eyes.

Kagome reasoned with herself that he thought that way about all humans, that she was no different. But then, why did Sesshoumaru take care of Rin, making sure that she was never hurt in any way by others or even by himself?

Was that mutual courtesy?

Somehow, she doubted it. She was fooling herself if she thought she could be Rin's equal in his eyes. If Inu Yasha couldn't stand her, there was no way his brother would.

Her miko clothes were stained now, she thought suddenly. She didn't really have any left. She would need to wash them if that idiot demon lord wanted her up on time.

Kagome sighed and got up. There was no way she could sleep anyway.

Luckily, for all of the water they had needed, the group had moved near a stream. Kagome could hear it close, softly flowing.

She noticed Sesshoumaru in his tree once again. He seemed to acknowledge her just a bit. Kagome turned her back on him with a 'hmmph'.

The stream was cold, as were nearly all streams in Japan, but she'd been through worse before. The only thing that troubled her was that the night was cold too, as winter was drawing nearer all the time. If she washed her clothes...

Oh well.

She slowly stripped the priestess outfit from herself, wincing as it pulled on her bandage.

Kagome glared down at the bandage, though. She didn't need his help.

Slowly, she dipped the clothes in the moonlit river, smiling as the sweat and blood slowly came off and floated away. Deciding critically that now was one of those special times, Kagome washed her hair with shampoo. It somehow made her feel much more confident than before. Her mind told her that it was worth the risk to rinse her body off, and Kagome lowered herself gently into the water, trying to not wince as her leg stung momentarily.

She did have to admit that the bandages held remarkably well, though.

Once she was done, the girl dried off contentedly, suddenly feeling as though she could take on whatever the world wanted to throw at her.

_Well,_ she thought as the wind blew across her wet body,_ not quite anything. Right now that blanket is sounding pretty good._

She wrapped the towel around herself and headed back to the tent, holding her very wet, but neatly folded clothes in her arms. Kagome hung them on a tree branch carefully before slipping back into the blanket and snuggling in for the night.

*

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It wasn't that long, though, before a very familiar sounding, "Wake up now," disturbed her rest.

Kagome decided not to let it get to her. She put on her best cheery 'Isn't it a great morning' smile and got dressed in her clothes (which were only slightly wet now).

The smile turned real indeed when Sesshoumaru seemed perturbed by something.

_He's probably wondering why I don't smell so terrible anymore. All of that blood and sweat was probably on his nerves._

In fact, he was really wondering about the sudden scent of flowers in the air.

_It must be Rin. She's been picking too many of those lately with nothing to do._ That directed his glance to the much-too-happy Kagome. She had been the cause of it all.

Wait. That scent was coming from her.

Sesshoumaru held himself back from rubbing his forehead, not wanting to give the woman the benefit of seeing him confused. He never pretended to understand humans.

"Kagome-nee-san!" Rin ploughed into her, making Kagome tense a bit when she hit her leg. Instead of doing what she felt like (saying something very profane), she patted the little girl on the head.

"Hello, Rin. What have you been doing?"

"Picking flowers for Kagome-nee-san!" Rin relied happily. "But...Rin lost them somewhere..." her face deflated again.

Kagome laughed. "Don't worry Rin, I'm sure there will be flowers wherever we end up going." Something in her mind snapped into place then. "That's right! I still haven't given you the rest of the chocolate, have I?"

Rin immediately brightened. Kagome could easily see why Sesshoumaru kept her around when she saw her smile. The miko handed her the last of the bar of chocolate (which had kept well in the cold weather).

The atmosphere was nothing like the night before. In fact, for all intents and purposes, it seemed as though the night before had never happened. Well, mostly. A few times, she had felt chills run up her spine, only to turn around and see the demon lord looking at her with a detached and studious expression.

All of that changed when she felt the Shikon shard.

She turned her head to look at Sesshoumaru, who simply shrugged, indicating that she could do as she wished. She knew that he would not save her this time should things go wrong.

"That's fine with me," she muttered angrily to herself. Sesshoumaru surprised her somewhat by tossing her bow and arrows at her in an arrogant manner.

"Something tells me that you're fairly forgetful."

Kagome blinked, then shook her head. "Thank you." Jaken watched her go anxiously. That human wouldn't dare to hold them up again for her precious shards would she? 

Would she?

Yes. Apparently she would. And Sesshoumaru was doing nothing to stop her.

*

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*

*  
*

Kagome followed the shard, which had stopped moving completely. Almost as if it were waiting for her.

But that was stupid. No one that would know about her powers had the faintest inkling of where she was.

She continued on, despite her misgivings. Eventually, after jumping at nearly every sound on the way there, a distant roaring filled her ears. Whatever was there would be the thing with the Shikon shard.

Kagome nocked an arrow cautiously, moving a bit more slowly. But she needn't have bothered, she found. The roaring came from a waterfall.

And there was no one there.


	10. An unexpected promise

**To Live Again**

**By Rurouni Star**

Just so everyone knows, I hate this chapter. . It just seems so unrealistic, but I'm crunched for time lately, and it just didn't come out right. I don't really have time to change it (and probably won't for a while), so here it is. Kill me now.

**SilverQuick: **Sorry. It's a writing reflex. ^_^

**Fallon:** Thanks! I try for good characterization. As for Inu Yasha, he's probably going to appear within a few chapters. He still thinks she's at home at the moment.

**Amarome:** I hope it doesn't run out either. I don't know if it will yet, actually… I'm making it up as I go, which is a very bad thing. As far as the well goes, she sealed it up because she had to accept responsibility for breaking the jewel, but couldn't stay with Inu Yasha and couldn't go home and ignore it. If she'd left the well open, then anyone with a shard (*cough, NARAKU, cough*) could get through it and hurt her family.

**DiaBLo:** You're absolutely right about the -chan thing. I was really debating taking it out, but it just made me laugh so hard to think of the words coming out of his mouth that I couldn't bring myself to do it.

**Dragon of Sakura:** Yeah, she confuses me too. And I'm writing her.

**Chapter 10 – An Unexpected Promise**

Kagome moved toward the waterfall where she felt the shard. There had to be someone here. There couldn't possibly be an unclaimed shard...could there?

As she came closer to the rushing water, she noticed that the waterfall wasn't quite as opaque as it should have been – there was a cave behind it. Getting in would be tricky, but not impossible.

  
As long as nothing interfered.

The miko looked around hurriedly for any signs of the odd presence she'd felt before. At first, she could swear she saw some binoculars peeping out of the bushes… but they were gone when she looked again. Kagome shook her head to clear it – she was hallucinating again. 

She had just begun to climb the slippery rocks when something brushed past her leg. She shrieked and looked down. 

A soul snatcher. She was in trouble.

More of them came, and even more, twisting around her and trying to pull her away from the rocks. She struggled mightily, but none of her efforts prevailed. In the end, she was pulled from her perch.

But surprisingly, they didn't drop her into the water below. The soul snatcher demons carried her beyond the waterfall and into the small chamber beyond, where her mirror image awaited her.

Kikyo opened her eyes and stared at her coldly, making Kagome revise her opinion of Sesshoumaru's glares. Before, she'd thought nothing could top being glared at by a demon lord.

She was wrong. Simply being looked at by own reflected, a vision of death, made her begin to shiver uncontrollably.

The person opposite her finally spoke.

"Do you promise not to struggle if I have them let you go?" the older version of herself said.

"As long as you don't try to kill me or anything," Kagome joked half-heartedly. Kikyo motioned for the demons to release her reincarnation. Kagome sat down quietly, staring at her double.

Silence.

And then – "Will you please stop looking at me like I'm going to bite your head off?"

Wow. She didn't know Kikyo could become annoyed.

"Um...yes?" The woman sighed.

"This is hard for me to say. Give me a moment." Kagome couldn't help but stare now. "Fine. I see waiting won't help. I'm sorry."

Kagome waited. And waited some more. Then it dawned on her.

"Wait, you mean, you're sorry for-"

"Yes. I feel the need to explain matters to you. I have recently come into...awareness of certain things. They have made me realize other things I didn't want to." Kikyo paused and Kagome hoped she would continue instead of making yet another awkward silence. She did keep going, much to the girl's relief. "When I first reawakened, there was nothing but hate in me for what I thought Inu Yasha had done. Once I finally discovered the truth, it became too late for me to change my path. I still existed off of hate, but it was a confused hate. My spirit refused to decide, and it took it quite a long while to do so, considering that I only own part of it." 

She gave a wry smile, which Kagome uneasily returned.

"I believe that the reason I came to rest my hate upon you is because you own all of what I once did. Everything that people once said about me, became you. You were pure; I was now tainted. You held the Shikon no Tama; I had lost it foolishly. You loved Inu Yasha... but I was incapable of feeling anything approaching what I once did." Her eyes stared into Kagome's. "I wanted to kill you. But now that something has happened, I no longer want to destroy my future self." Kagome took in a shaky breath, very close to thinking that this was a dream.

"What was that?" she asked in a whisper. Kikyo looked at her sorrowfully.

"You saved me. In the cave of the miko eater. You refused to give up. I realized then that I had been trying to destroy that which I must embrace. You are me, after all. Someday, perhaps, I will be like you. Pure again. I don't know what happened in that cave, but something more than what we saw did. My soul has become much clearer to me for reasons I cannot fathom." 

Kagome tried to understand what she'd said. "Embrace?" she asked.

"Yes. Naraku will eventually make his final stand. I know you will be there, just as I will. And I want you to understand as well; I am not helping him, no matter what I do. I need you to trust me." Kikyo looked to her, as if for confirmation.

"I don't really have a choice, do I?" The undead priestess shook her head.

"No matter what. Remember." Kagome nodded silently, trying to put some faith in herself – literally.

Kikyo looked to her soul snatchers, which picked the undead miko up once again and led her from the falls.

Kagome got up to leave, shaken, but something glittered in the dirt, catching her eye. Kikyo had left her a shard.

Wait.

Kagome looked down at her bottle. The glass was empty.

Kikyo had taken five shards and left her with one of her own. What did that mean?

*

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*

Sesshoumaru noticed, of course, that she now only possessed one shard. But he didn't pry into other people's affairs.

"You are done, I take it?" he asked her. Kagome nodded, looking preoccupied. 

It was none of his concern.

"Come, then. We have already wasted more than enough time." She rolled her eyes, perhaps thinking that he couldn't see it. He simply stored it away for future reference.


	11. Talking with the moon

**To Live Again**

**By Rurouni Star**

**Trina:** I don't understand what everyone's problem with Kikyo is. She's a bad guy. It's her job to do bad things. And besides that, we're not even sure she's bad in the first place…

**Cecilia:** Thank you! I'm so proud… my presence as a favorite used to be non-existent…

**SilverQuick:** I try not to do the traditional stuff. It's too easy.

**Cherry-wolf-blossom:** Yay! I'm awesome!

**Deo:** I'm glad my cliffhangers are work- I mean really? It's not intentional at all!

**Romm:** Wouldn't YOU like to know? Come to think of it, I would too.

**Profiler120: **Another favorite! Go me! Thanks for reviewing all the chapters… it makes me so happy to see the amazing numbers of reviews I have…

**Dragon of Sakura:** I'm afraid I can't tell you what's going on with Kikyo. I don't know myself. But as for Sesshoumaru, he's finally getting a clue and beginning to fall in love. I've waited long enough, after all.

**Aphiopsyduck:** I like making people double take. It's my job as a fanfic author. ^_^

**Emme:** As before stated, I'm just different that way. I don't like the obsessive way people start on Kikyo… it scares me.

**YoYo and Golden Vegeta:** Thanks! I still thought it was bad, but thanks all the same.

**Chapter 11 – Talking with the Moon**

The cloud descended for the night. Kagome had begun to wonder if they would ever find Naraku, except that Kikyo had let her know that they would face him at some point. 

Of course, that had been four days ago. And she'd taken the five shards.

_"I need you to trust me."_

God she was going to feel like such an idiot if Kikyo had lied. She didn't know why she was even considering it, seeing as the woman had a terrible track record with her. And something else held her back too, although she didn't want to admit it, even to herself. Especially to herself.

Kikyo had come between her and Inu Yasha.

Kagome sat beneath her tree like usual, fingering the red tie that identified her as a priestess. Did she really deserve it? Did she even want it?

"Kagome."

She started at Sesshoumaru's voice.

"Y-yes?" She looked up at his figure, sitting on the highest branch of the tree and looking up at the moon.

"Nothing. It is impolite." She blinked. This was a change.

"I told you to ask me things instead of beating around the bush," she said in a quiet voice.

"You are sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure." Good Kami, she wanted him to ask questions. It was unnerving traveling with someone that never asked questions.

"What was it like, traveling with my brother." His brother? Didn't he usually refer to him as Inu Yasha?

"It was...well...it was never dull. I could probably tell you quite a bit. Do you want to know anything specific?" She dearly hoped that this wouldn't put him off the subject.

"Start at the beginning, then." Kagome stared at him a moment. Was Sesshoumaru, the one she knew, making conversation? 

"I...hmm. I suppose it began when I climbed out of the well. I was a bit lost, I thought I was still in Tokyo, but I see now that it was a stupid thought. Sengoku Jidai is too green to be Tokyo." She got that feeling of an impending question again.

"Sengoku Jidai?" Kagome remembered belatedly that Sesshoumaru didn't know about her modern era. She was so used to everyone taking it as a given that she came from another world.

"Wow. This may take some explaining." Sesshoumaru shifted his gaze from the moon to her.

"You don't need to tell me if you don't want to." The demon lord paused. Why did that phrase sound so familiar?

"No, no, it's okay," Kagome hastened to reassure him. "It's just that I'm used to everyone knowing. Sengoku Jidai is...what people call this era. Where I'm from. I mean...the future."

That got his attention. Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed.

"Do not play games with me." Kagome shivered beneath that glare, but remembered the Kikyo's cold, pale face. Her strength returned somewhat.

"It's true. I'm still not quite used to this era, it doesn't have as many conveniences. But..." She was about to say that she was stuck here. Something held her back, though.

Sesshoumaru had revealed nothing of himself to her. She wasn't about to let him see the things that had nearly broken her.

"But it's nice here. Not as much smog." He must have noticed her change in what she was going to say, but said nothing. "In any case...I fell down our shrine's well. Or, was pulled down it. Somehow, the Shikon no Tama revived a centipede demon in the well. It had been there since...well, since now, I guess. It tried to take the Shikon from me, even though I didn't know I had it..." She smiled weakly. "Are you confused yet?"

Sesshoumaru merely inclined his head, telling her to continue.

"Ah. Ok. I thought I was going to die when it pulled me in. We don't actually have demons in the future, so it was a big surprise. I did that thing I did before, when you surprised me. It made the thing let me go, and when I got up from the bottom of the well, I was in Sengoku Jidai. I climbed up and figured I'd somehow gotten myself lost, so I went toward the Goshimboku in the distance. It's part of our shrine, so I thought I might find my house there."

"But you found my brother instead," Sesshoumaru stated wryly. "How unlucky for you."

_"Sometimes I agree with that,"_ Kagome thought sadly.

"Yeah. I found Inu Yasha. He was pinned to the tree with an arrow. I'd never seen a dog demon before, so when I went up to see why he was up there, I couldn't help but check to see if the ears were real. I sort of rubbed them."

Kagome was surprised to hear a laugh from Sesshoumaru. A real one.

"Oh fine, laugh if you want," she grumbled good-naturedly. "It's not like that lasted too long. Just as I thought of trying to get him down, the villagers fired on me. I got taken back to the village because they thought I was a kitsune in disguise." Only when she was telling the story did she realize how funny it was. It wasn't at all funny when you were experiencing it, but looking back... "The old priestess, Kaede, tried to exorcise me at first. Then she looked at me very closely and said I looked like Kikyo. I sort of smiled and nodded because she gave me some food and got me untied."

"The priestess did warn you of my brother? Why did you release him?" The girl smiled.

"That was actually a sort of interesting set of events. The centipede demon tracked me down, still moaning about the stupid jewel. I figured I would lead it away from the village since it was only after me. I ended up at the Goshimboku, and for some reason or other, Inu Yasha was awake. He started yelling at me because he thought I was Kikyo, and it was a bit distracting. The demon caught up and pulled the Shikon no Tama out of me and tried to squeeze me to death against the tree. Inu Yasha offered to help me if I took the arrow out. Obviously I did. He killed it pretty easily. Then he tried to kill me."

"The rosary?" Sesshoumaru asked softly. She made a noise of agreement.

"It was pretty funny, except that it was life or death," Kagome said with a far away look on her face.

Sesshoumaru did not speak for a long time. He was digesting the large amount of information she had just provided him with. She was Kikyo's reincarnation. She was from the future and there was a well somewhere that could go there that was near a very large tree. And she was somehow linked to the jewel.

"Sesshoumaru?"

"Yes?" Kagome bit her lip. She was dying to ask him a few things. Why he hated Inu Yasha so much. Why he was so cold.

But as he had said, those were impolite.

"Never mind. Good night."

And the demon lord turned his gaze back to the moon.

*

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It was interesting how time went by after that. Kagome found it much easier to get along with the group, although she often caught herself thinking on her former traveling companions and what they were doing.

Had Sango gotten Kohaku back yet? Had Shippo gotten stronger or bigger? Had Miroku...was Miroku still alive? That one chilled her to the core. It wasn't possible. She couldn't have left him to die. 

Had Kikyo contacted Inu Yasha while she was gone?

While she was gone? She was acting as though she were going to return. 

It took a long time to sort out such thoughts. But she had all the time she needed, after all. This new group was not exactly talkative.

It was in such a state that she found herself once again sitting below a tree in the middle of the night. She was surprised once more when Sesshoumaru began to ask her questions again.

When had she met Shippo? What kind of demons had they killed? What did she know of Naraku.

It began to occur to her that Sesshoumaru was asking her for information disguised as idle chatter. But she didn't care. If she could get a break from the oppressive silence of the day, she didn't care.

Another question interrupted her.

"This monk...why does he have the hole in his hand?" Kagome bit her lip as she thought over her previous doubts.

Was he still alive?

"Miroku-sama? His grandfather had the curse inflicted on him by Naraku. It's passed down through the family." She heard something resembling a snort.

"That is a curse? A weapon to carry around at all times?" Kagome became angry.

"It will eventually consume him! It did the same to his father and grandfather! What do you think it's like looking death in the face every day, knowing you're going to die soon?" She slapped a hand over her mouth. If he didn't ask questions anymore, she would be stuck in silence again.

But instead...he seemed to be considering it.

"I'm sure it is unpleasant," he concluded. That was about as much sympathy as anyone ever got from him.

Was it because she'd tried to relate it to him?

"Naraku...he's done some things I can never forgive," Kagome said quietly. "I don't think I've told you about Sango yet. He destroyed her village down to the last person and made her brother kill her family. He even made sure Kohaku knew he'd done it. Sango...Sango survived, and he told her that it was Inu Yasha's fault. She nearly killed herself trying to avenge her family on the wrong person...and Naraku used her until he couldn't anymore..." 

Sesshoumaru didn't know why this should bother him so much. He knew what being used felt like. It was a terrible feeling, to know that someone had succeeded in manipulating you, tricking you into risking your life for their ends. And if you'd been manipulated by the slayer of your kin...would that not be so much worse?

"Naraku has many things to answer for," Sesshoumaru said in a soft growl, remembering Rin's kidnapping. Naraku had tried to use him then.

Wait. Hadn't there been a boy there, trying to kill Rin? Yes. That girl, Sango, had called him Kohaku.

"This Kohaku is still alive," Sesshoumaru stated grimly, not knowing that Kagome was looking at him as though he were a ghost.

"Yes...and no. Naraku put a Shikon shard in his back. He's controlling him, and he made him forget about Sango. He's tried to kill us more than once."

"He should be destroyed," Sesshoumaru muttered.

"We would never do that to Sango," the miko said quietly. "He's her only hope of having a family."

Sesshoumaru didn't respond. Of course he knew what it was like to fight family. He did it every time he tried to take the Tetsusaiga. But that was intentional – Inu Yasha was only a half-breed, after all. Why care? Why should it matter more that you kill your brother than a simple stranger?

_"Maybe you should!"_

Why couldn't the blasted woman's voice leave him alone? 

The demon's expression turned icy, though she couldn't see it. He turned away from her and looked to the moon once again. It was made only of light, and it didn't make you think.


	12. Reparations

**To Live Again**

**By Rurouni Star**

Here it is, the part everyone's been waiting for… or sort of. Kagome will semi meet Inu Yasha. Read on to see what I mean.

**Dumdeedum:** Someone understands it! I was saying I hated that chapter because no matter how many times I rewrote it, Kikyo ended up sounding so dreadfully OOC! I think her character is just so dratted hard to pin down…

**Profiler120:** Thanks for the compliment! I have to say, I went to read a few of your stories and was greatly impressed. Keep writing, and I'll do the same. ^_~ As for the 'mutual courtesy' part, he called her human instead of her name.

**Dragon of Sakura: ***sniff* I feel so very loved…

**Suki:** YAY! Thank you!

**Chapter 12 – Reparations**

The cold air had spread to the daytime now, and as much as Kagome hated the clothing that made her look like her counterpart, it did keep her mostly warm. Rin in particular liked to sit in her lap and pull the loose ends of Kagome's hakama around herself. The little girl had slowly wormed her way into the miko's heart, and Kagome had begun to realize that she would probably be crushed if Sesshoumaru ever asked her to leave the group. Of course, the girl had begun to find that Rin was not the only person she was attached to…

Oddly enough, he'd shown no desire to make her leave, even though she was constantly holding them up to help at the villages they passed.

Kagome gave a shiver as the wind she'd loved so much before snuck into her clothing. She hugged Rin closer and the little girl gave a giggle.

Why hadn't she brought a sweatshirt with her before she sealed the well?

Oh yeah. It had been early fall. And she hadn't been planning on sealing it up.

The memories of her little brother, her mother, her grandfather, were slowly fading. It was scaring her how little of her daily life she remembered. She could still remember getting up in the morning and going downstairs to breakfast, but her mother's voice had faded to a dull and aching sadness in her heart. Her brother would occasionally steal one of her books, making her chase him around the house, but she couldn't for the life of her remember his laughter that she'd found so annoying before. And grandpa's stupid little stories about pickles... all she could remember was the part about the well.

Kagome gave a sigh, and rubbed her arms to get the blood flowing through them again. Sesshoumaru, as always, ignored her.

"Kagome-nee-san? Rin is cold again." Kagome gave a small smile and wrapped her arms about the child again.

"You're growing, Rin," she told the girl. "I could swear that yesterday I could fit my arms around you twice!" The little girl laughed and smiled up at her substitute sister.

"Kagome's lying! Kagome's lying!" But the miko shook her head while trying to keep a straight face.

"No, I'm serious. And I know you were at least a foot shorter too."

Sesshoumaru, unbeknownst to Kagome, could hear every word. It constantly amazed him how Kagome could amuse Rin so much with such simple things.

When had he started thinking of her as Kagome? She had been simply 'the human' or 'the miko' before, even if he hadn't said it.

His mind wandered, and he came to the conclusion that it was when she'd slapped him. One couldn't think of the woman that did that as just 'human'.

Jaken stared down at the earth below them that was slowly becoming more barren every day. It would be hard to forage for food in a while. What did his master plan on doing about the humans then?

Whether the toad would admit it to himself or not, somehow Inu Yasha's wench had grown on them all. And, of course, Rin could never be considered a bother anymore. Would they have to leave the two behind?

Kagome froze in the middle of her tickle war with the little girl. Her head snapped up, and she stared directly at a small village below.

"Sesshoumaru," she said quietly. The demon understood immediately, and the cloud lowered. Rin stared at her. She'd never been this serious before, even when she detected a Shikon shard. All in all, she'd only gotten two more since Kikyo had taken hers. 

"Kagome-nee-san?" she asked uncertainly.

"I'm sorry, Rin. We'll have to continue this later." Kagome got to her feet as the cloud touched down, and Rin's source of warmth left. The little girl shivered at more than the cold at her sister stepped down. Kagome had an expression of such seriousness on her face that the girl was wondering what could have her so spooked.

"Keep Rin here," she said in a whisper. She knew that both demons had heard her, however.

Sesshoumaru found himself wanting to ask what it was, but the scent on the wind gave him his answer almost immediately. Kagome undoubtedly knew.

"Please," she said to him. "Please don't follow me. I need...I need to talk to him alone. All of them. And you'd fight with him even if you didn't want to."

Sesshoumaru almost denied her request, but his memory suddenly provided him with several instances when the girl had been very close to breaking down when Inu Yasha's name was mentioned. He didn't need to deprive her of her one chance to finish it all.

Although he wondered why he even cared.

Sesshoumaru nodded almost imperceptibly, half hoping that she wouldn't notice. But Kagome did, and she gave him a grateful look before walking away.

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_Idiot._

_You let him get away._

_It's your damn fault._

_More people will die._

_Go home._

Kagome came very close to turning back at many times. She wasn't ready to face him yet, she reasoned, or it was too soon and he would be angry with her. But she knew the truth. She needed this.

Of course there was a Shikon shard involved. There always was with him. She'd almost forgotten.

An eerie whispering sound reached her ears, and she stiffened a bit. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to sense around the area. There was a whole group of demons closing in on the village. And she was sure that there was blood, although how she knew was a mystery even to her. She kept walking, one step after another, and swallowed, her throat dry. If she went any further, there would be no turning back.

But then, she already couldn't turn back.

The miko began to run, hoping it would give her confidence. It didn't, but she made it more quickly. She cleared the tree line and fell to her knees.

He was there. The red clothed figure she hadn't seen for weeks, months even, was there, standing shakily on his own.

Inu Yasha was there.

Her body refused to move. She'd half expected it to be her mind playing tricks on her. But he was there.

And he didn't have Tetsusaiga.

Her eyes traveled to the three unconscious figures behind him, and the Tetsusaiga, forgotten in the dirt. The mutilated body of a demon, the mark of a spider on its back barely visible, caught her eye. It was an offspring of Naraku, no doubt.

Kagome willed her body to move with all of her might. Her friends' lives depended on her now. Inu Yasha had transformed, and he had never been able to come back to himself without help before.

Her senses picked up no less than ten Shikon shards in the area, excluding her own. One of them belonged to the mangled corpse.

"Inu Yasha," she whispered to herself. "What have you been doing while I've been gone?" She walked closer, and his eyes finally focused on her. But they didn't seem to see her.

Kagome came ever closer, now only separated from him by mere feet.

"Inu Yasha," she repeated, her eyes beginning to tear. "What's happened to you?"

Her only answer was a low growl. She moved for the Tetsusaiga, but suddenly found her arm restrained by his bloodstained claw. Inu Yasha's face was very close now, and she found herself trying to memorize it despite the fact that those claws were digging into her arm.

"Who...who are you?" the demon in front of her growled. "Why do I not want to kill you..." Kagome nearly cried out as his claws dug deeper still.

"My name is Kagome," she whispered brokenly.

"You lie!" he yelled. Kagome was gone. She'd been gone. This was a fake. 

Kagome started at a sudden weak meowing at her feet. Kirara had pulled herself up, and was pawing at the enraged man's feet for lack of anything else she could hope to do.

Both she and the miko were thrown away like a rag dolls. Kirara struggled vainly to rise, but had obviously already been quite injured. The poor cat seemed to have broken a few ribs with Inu Yasha's attack, and the pain eventually overcame it, putting her unconscious. It was probably for the best, after all.

He thought she was Kikyo, Kagome concluded sadly. She was surely dressed for the part. "Please," she said, her desperation showing through, "there are more demons coming. Please let me go, and help me fight them." The low growl turned louder and more threatening, and she was forced to do something that would drastically reduce her chances of defeating the approaching demons.

"Osuwari," she said hopelessly. There was a thud, and she pulled herself to her feet with a wince. Before she was even completely up, something wispy and bone-chillingly cold wrapped around her, slithering across her bare ankles and even making her cry out from the cold through her clothing.

"The master didn't say there would be anymore opposition," it whispered in an airy voice. "Who are you, little miko. Why should we not kill you?" More of the wraith-like beings began to approach, and she tried to keep her panic in check.

"Because I can kill you more easily than you can kill me," she informed it calmly, not knowing whether she was indeed being truthful or not. "I've slain much stronger demons before. Granted, you're here in numbers, but how many would I kill before you got to me?" 

The thing hissed, though she couldn't see a mouth from which it could let out such a noise. "Quite right, quite right… and he didn't tell us you would be here. It is obviously he at fault. We could go back to our homes without bothering with his conscription…" 

Kagome nodded emphatically. "In fact, he's going to be very busy with so many people chasing him. Even if he somehow did want to punish you, he wouldn't have the time or resources." The thing left its place from around her body, and she nearly sighed aloud in relief as the frozen feeling left her skin. She was sure she would find it blue later.

"You are an interesting girl," it told her as it retreated. "Already, I begin to feel weak from your aura. Very well. We shall agree to retreat, but only so that we may defy that hanyou's orders. It is embarrassing serving such a wretch." The other wispy demons converged together to create something resembling a single dark cloud, which floated away on the breeze and disappeared all too quickly. Had her skin not still burned with the cold the thing had left on her, she might not have believed it herself.

Not too far away, a nearby figure loosened his grip on his sword and turned away, walking back to the place he was supposed to be. The girl didn't need to know – ever – that he had come despite her wishes to the contrary.

Kagome rushed to the injured cat, hoping she could do something for her. Kirara was completely unconscious, which would make it easier to treat her. It wasn't that the animal would complain at her injuries being treated – she was smarter than that – but the twitches of pain would have stopped Kagome cold. She couldn't bear to see animals in pain.

Very carefully, she felt Kirara's chest for the broken ribs and let out a breath as she found that they were merely bruised. Even so, the miko bandaged her around the ribs, holding them in place so that they wouldn't shift and cause the fire cat pain. Sango was lucky to have such a loyal cat.

Kagome walked over to her former friends with a tight feeling in her own chest that had nothing to do with broken ribs. All three were still there, she noticed with a pang of relief. She rushed to Miroku to make sure, to touch his face. 

He was still there. "I didn't mean to run away and leave you to die, Miroku," the girl whispered to the unconscious man. "I swear, I'll save you still somehow."

Sango shifted next to him, looking as though she'd been trying to take a blow for him from her condition and her position near him. Kagome noticed sadly that it had done no good. The taijiya hadn't changed a bit. Her boomerang still rested beneath her, shifting slightly with her deep breathing. Her face was pained and drawn tight, but she still wore the pink eye shadow. It really was a ridiculous color, but somehow it had always worked for the demon hunter. It was her only concession to her femininity, most times.

Shippo, she nearly cried at. He had grown. He really was a foot taller than when she'd last seen him. His claws were more developed, and he even looked like a decent fighter now. His tail twitched in response to her hand on his cheek, and a claw curled around it with a whimper. He must have been able to smell her, even unconscious. The girl pulled her hand away reluctantly.

Kagome bound their wounds sadly, memorizing their faces. Last, she came to Inu Yasha, who had lost consciousness with her 'sit'.

His face was paler than she'd last seen it. His ears drooped slightly, and he looked so tired that she almost couldn't believe it was him. Kagome reverently replaced the Tetsusaiga in its sheath and took her time staring at him. 

She would not get closure this day. But she could try to pretend as if nothing had happened these past few months, if only for a little while.

The girl placed a hand on his cheek, savoring the warmth in him. She leaned closer, and buried her face in his chest. The scent. It was there. The soft fire rat fur rubbed against her face, reminding her of the times when she'd still ridden on his back. A bit of his soft hair brushed her cheek and she wrapped her arms around him forlornly. He was still strong, she found from the muscles she held against her. Her hero was still as strong as ever without her.

She held him to her, not wanting to ever let go, and letting out a sob at the thought. But eventually, she knew, they would all wake. And that wouldn't be the best time to talk. Inu Yasha stirred a little while she cried, but didn't quite wake.

Instead, she took one last deep breath and tried to wipe her tears from his haori. Kagome hesitated as she began to leave, feeling as though something was still left undone. 

Of course.

Kagome took the bottle of Shikon shards from her neck and put it into Inu Yasha's hand, closing his fingers over it tenderly. She kept only one, a special one that would need to be used. The miko turned around then, knowing that soon the villagers would be arriving to see if the heroes had prevailed. She'd done everything but what she'd come to do.

When she returned to the cloud, they were in the same places she'd left them. Her new companions.

Kagome smiled timidly at Sesshoumaru, who was wearing the same cold expression. She knew somehow that he'd noticed the tear tracks on her face.

She opened her hand and looked at the single Shikon shard within it, glowing and winking at her as its evil was purged from it. Without warning, shard in her hand rose, almost of its own will, and flew to pierce the demon lord's only arm. He choked in surprise, rage overcoming him as pain consumed him and he clutched his arm. Was this her doing? What did she hope to accomplish? 

He didn't have time to finish the thought. The arm had been torn from him.

No. That wasn't right.

The arm was still there. And… and so was the other, which had most certainly not been there before.

Kagome fell to her knees, gasping and clutching at her own arm. It was shaking, as though she had felt what he had, though she hadn't had an arm to replace. Her power seemed drained, though it had gone through the medium of the Shikon shard. Which, the demon lord noticed absently, was still embedded in his new arm.

"Reparations…" Kagome said with a pain-filled sob. "Sorry…I didn't warn you…" Sesshoumaru had only been half listening. He was staring at her in open confusion. She gave him a quivering smile, but couldn't hold it forever. His own arm did hurt, but his demon blood had dulled the sore pain to a twitch of annoyance. Surprising himself, the inu youkai took her hand to help her up, his expression a badly made mask concealing some emotion she had never seen on his face. He noticed almost off-handedly that her skin was as cold as ice.

Rin gazed at her curiously, wondering what her sister was talking about, with 'reparations'. She shrugged as she watched her surrogate father twine his fingers with Kagome's wonderingly, as if amazed that he could feel anything at all. The miko's shudders had decreased somewhat as he took her hand, and she looked up with the demon with something resembling satisfaction, even joy, in her gaze.

"How…it's back…" Jaken was murmuring near her in a gleeful voice. "I knew she was useful, always knew she'd come in handy…" Rin patted the toad demon's shoulder comfortingly as he tried to hold back tears of happiness. Sesshoumaru's servant didn't even bother to express some problem with the girl's work, or even the fact that Sesshoumaru was still holding her hand. He was too distracted to hide his admiration of her behind his usual mask of dislike for all humans.

"Reparations?" Sesshoumaru whispered, and the last pain faded from her arm. His hand dropped from hers instantly. "I do not know of what you try to repair. But I thank you nonetheless."

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Inu Yasha groaned as he woke. He'd done it again, he knew. His demon side had emerged. He flew to his feet, even though he somehow knew that everything was fine. A chain dangled from his fingertips, and he looked down at it blankly.

Kagome... her scent was all over him. Her tears. He remembered the small glimpse he'd had of her face as she cried. He opened his fingers, trembling, knowing what he would find.

Two shards. Funny, he'd expected three.

Did that mean she'd returned home? That she would eventually come back again?

His wounds were bandaged. He clenched his hand tightly and tried to savor her scent.

It had been months. He'd lost all hope of ever seeing her again. Of ever smelling that wonderful scent ever again.

A groan interrupted him. He turned around, slightly annoyed, to see Miroku holding his head in his hands. He'd been hit in the face by the thing's club, and was very lucky to be alive, all things considered. But the monk's hand had come up to his face, marveling at the touch he could swear he'd felt. 

The other two were soon getting up too. As soon as he heard Shippo's tears, he knew.

Kagome hadn't been a dream. She'd really been there.

Questions flew through his mind. Where had she come from? How had she gotten there? Why wasn't she at home, safe, where he'd tried so hard to send her? Why, he thought chillingly, did he smell the tiniest bit of her blood from his claws?

Would she ever come back?

A/N: Just a note – some of you might be wondering why I focused so much on Miroku. It's not because of any K/M attitude, although I've been thinking about doing that next as a self-challenge. It's because I think it would have a very big impact on her to see him alive. Kagome's been gone for months, and for all she knows he could be dead from the Kazaana. A friend that was slowly dying day by day would probably get more attention than one she'd thought was alive and well. But that's just my take. ^_~


	13. Shattering

**To Live Again**

**By Rurouni Star**

This is the OTHER long awaited chapter. But it's not going to end how you want. And you're not going to like me for a while.

**Jessica M:** I'm afraid they won't see her for a while now. You'll see why soon.

**Freya:** *does a double take* Hey, I just now realized that. I might be writing things in unconsciously… or maybe I'm just lucky?

**Dumdeedum:** Kagome gave Inu Yasha the shards because he can protect them better than her. Also, he was the original seeker of the jewel. As for Sesshoumaru, she felt responsible for his missing arm. Kagome's powers are all instinctive, but she knew somehow that she would be able to do something about Sesshoumaru's arm with the jewel fragment. Oh yes, angst… how I love it. But I held myself back considerably.

**Hnn…:** I know that's not your real name (at least I hope it isn't…) but I'll answer your question anyway. Sesshoumaru and her are about to get LOTS closer. But the big thing about this story is that I promised myself he wouldn't warm up too quickly. He's a demon lord that has a self-professed hatred of humans, and especially of his brother. I don't think he'd just fall in love at first sight. Takes a bit of thawing… what an ice cube…

**Dbzfan:** The demons are supposed to be freaky and chilling. They're not completely solid, more like ghosts, and when they touch you, you get cold. As for Sesshoumaru, I tried to make that rather apparent – he's got his arm back. It's sort of painful, regrowing an arm, but the pain's gone now and he's happy (or as happy as he ever is). As for whether it has to stay in his arm – you'll definitely be seeing. After all, the jewel is going to have to come together at some point with all this work they've put into it. I thought that chapter was better than the others myself, and I'm very proud of it. =P

**SilverQuick:** That's probably one of the best compliments I've received. It exactly describes the way I feel about my favorite authors. And I think you're doing great on your own IY fic – it's turning out more interesting than the conventional pairings I've seen, as you said. 

**StDogbert:** I'm sure it's a S/K. Kagome's still slightly in love with Inu Yasha. Even while she was with him, she idolized him, and now that she's been away so long, she's probably forgotten his flaws. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all. But Sesshoumaru's sort of taking her mind off him and she's really close to loving him, if not already there. It's another little characterization thing – Kagome always feels things really strongly, so she doesn't forget those feelings in a hurry.

**Hanna-chan:** ^_^ I do try. 

**Profiler120:** I'm looking forward to that too… O.o

**Mistress Fluffy:** Here it is, crisp and new… I was very surprised at how this one turned out.

**Suki: **I'm so loved… *sniff* thanks you guys…

**Emme:** Thanks for getting it! I always thought the odd relationship everyone has with Miroku should be developed more in some of these fics. No one knows when he's going to die, and it would definitely make ME uneasy.

**Cecilia:** Thanks, I'll try.

**SESSHOUAMRUS_GIRL:** Thank you! Everyone's so nice around here…

**X:** I'm definitely going to keep going.

**Dragon of Sakura:** Yeah, but he's a bit too protective.

**Confused and lovin it:** =P

**Ladyofthedragons:** I have often been accused of being evil. In case you're wondering, it does give me that warm tingly feeling inside just like any other compliment. ^____^

**bb:** I have a Kag/Inu up (Defeated by the Common Cold), but I wanted to try something different with this one. Believe me, the urge has nearly overtaken me a few times, but I swore to myself I would go alternate on this one.

**Chapter 13 – Shattering**

The rest of the day was exceptionally quiet, even for a person traveling with Sesshoumaru. Unknown to Kagome, he was contemplating the shard, wondering why in the world she had given it to him.

She hadn't needed to. She probably hadn't even wanted to, considering that he'd been trying to kill her when he'd lost his arm.

So why had she done it? It wasn't pity, for certain. She'd looked as though she were carrying out some obligation.

Because he'd saved her? Because he allowed her to travel with him?

He didn't understand. 

But what scared him was that when he'd seen the unmistakable residue of tears on her face, he'd been tempted to do something – anything – to make her smile again.

Like Rin, but not like her. This was...something different.

That night, when he would normally ask her questions, he was silent. Because she was crying that night, and he respected privacy.

He might have stayed there all night. He might have ignored her. But his mind refused to let him forget the times that such respect had led to bad outcomes.

_"I don't care."_

_"Well maybe you should!"_

In the end, against his better judgment, Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands, came down from his tree.

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Kagome tried to stop crying. She tried to tell herself that she didn't miss everyone. She tried to tell herself that she couldn't have stopped even a scratch had she been there.

It wasn't working.

Thankfully, Sesshoumaru had not asked her any questions this night. It would have been awkward in the greatest degree.

She buried her head in her arms and kept crying, hoping only that she would finish before daybreak. She missed him! She missed that stupid hanyou so much that it hurt!

And he hated her.

Kagome was so absorbed in her problems that she didn't feel Sesshoumaru's presence until he sat next to her. It shocked her so much that her tears paused.

She looked up at him. He was staring at the moon.

What on earth was she supposed to do?

"S-Sesshoumaru...?" He looked down at her, his face neutral.

"I don't understand it," he said quietly. She stared at him, quivering with the need to cry. "I do not understand why you still do this, even months after you cut all ties with my brother." Her lip trembled.

"You wouldn't understand," she murmured. He grabbed her arm, quite suddenly, before she could look away from him again.

"I said that already, did I not?" She vaguely noticed his scent, the one that was so much like Inu Yasha's, and yet so different.

"Well then, I don't understand it either," she said hoarsely. "So that makes two of us."

Sesshoumaru's gaze did not travel back to the moon, as she expected. His eyes stayed on her face.

"Then it is hard to forget?" he asked.

"Yes. Yes, damnit, it's very hard to forget. I spent so much time with everyone...and then he just told me I was useless, that it was all my fault, that I should go home! He was right that it was my fault – I shattered the stupid jewel. But that's the reason I can't go home. And...and even if I wanted to, I can't anymore!" He was still looking at her.

"My brother is an idiot. But I do not think he is so stupid as to believe that such a thing is your fault." Kagome sucked in her breath. Why? Why was he doing this? And why hadn't he let go of her arm yet?

"I was the one that broke the jewel," she whispered.

"Could it have been avoided at the time? Every choice you make is made because you cannot make any other at the time. Looking back and saying that you should have done differently is useless except for learning from your mistakes. And you forget also that not only bad things resulted from it."

Kagome stared at him for a few moments, unable to turn away from such a brutal statement. "Why?" she asked him. "Why do you care?" Sesshoumaru's brows knit together in an expression that resembled confusion.

_He doesn't know?_

The demon finally let her arm go. "Why did you give me the shard?" It wasn't phrased as a question, but as an answer.

Kagome trembled in anger.

"I don't need anymore of your mutual courtesy!" she told him hotly.

"Nevertheless, you have it." He finally looked back at the moon. "Hopefully, it will have the added effect of stopping your infernal crying."

Inwardly, Sesshoumaru winced. He was beginning to act like his brother, saying the opposite of what he meant. He wanted her to smile, because it gave him the oddest feeling in his chest, like a swelling of something indescribable. But then… how could he say that? He couldn't.

But Kagome, unfortunately, could not read minds. Her face tightened, and she jerked her arm from him roughly.

"Well then, I guess that's it then," she said in a trembling voice, whether with anger or despair he could not tell. "If you can't stand my crying, I don't think you need me around anymore." The miko got to her feet unsteadily and picked up her pack, which had lightened considerably since she had first met him.

His gaze did not waver from the cold, safe moon, despite the fact that he desperately wanted to look at her.

"Goodbye, Sesshoumaru," she said quietly, a small tremor in her voice.

And with that, she began to walk away.

She was interrupted by his curious voice. "And where will you go, Kagome?" She bit her lip.

"I don't know. Anywhere."

That irrational desire reappeared. He wanted to ask her to stay. He wanted to tell her that he hadn't meant it that way.

But he stayed quiet. And she left.

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As she left the small camp behind her, Kagome reflected faintly that she really didn't have any place to go. And beside that, she had no Shikon shards at all. Funny, considering that she was supposed to be their keeper.

What a wonderful protector she was turning out to be.

She walked all night, in no direction, in any direction that lead away. Things had surely gone downhill, hadn't they?

She'd lost all three of the families she'd thought she could have had.

What had she done wrong?

Things had spiraled out of her control somewhere along the line. She didn't know where it started, and she suspected that it would never end. By the end of the night, she found herself still walking, tired, but with no desire to stop.

Her body began to ache with the cold while she remembered Rin's warmth and Inu Yasha's scent. Why things had worked out this way, she really couldn't tell. She'd been happy at home and happy with Inu Yasha, and oddly enough, happy with Sesshoumaru's ragtag group.

The wind blew again, harder, and she shivered involuntarily. That lack of warmth signified to her that she had no one that cared enough to keep her warm anymore.

The miko finally sat down beneath a tree at dawn, the only one for hundreds of feet. Why was she sitting beneath a tree? Was it because she was used to it? Did she honestly expect that Sesshoumaru was at the top, staring at the moon that wasn't there during the day?

Kagome pulled out her one blanket and huddled underneath it. Somehow, things would work out, she told herself.

But she didn't believe it. And when she awoke from a fitful sleep hours later, she still didn't believe it.

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"Thank you so very much… Kagome-sama, was it? Is there anything at all we can do for you in return? Food, lodging, supplies?" The earnest villager smiled at her, but her face was unusually cold for someone that had just purified a well with a touch. Her smile twisted painfully.

"Nothing you can give me would help. I'm sorry." His face turned grave, and he put a hand on her shoulder.

"Whatever it is, my lady, you're much too good for such troubles. You saved us all, and we need to do something for you." He hesitated a bit before plunging on. "We don't have a miko here, and it's not that we're attacked all that much, but you would certainly be welcome-"

"No." That seemed to have drawn a rise from her. "I'm not a miko. Not in the strictest sense. And I've just thought of something you can do for me, good sir."

Kagome smiled sadly as he fulfilled her request. It was small – but it was the only thing left to her that mattered at all.

**A/N: _EVERYONE READ THIS PLEASE!_** I've read a lot of my reviewers' fanfiction and picked out a few that are good to read. Mm. Yummy. Anyway, if you're looking for a good fic, check these out:

SilverQuick's **White Dogs: Perversity**

Profiler120's **Blind Stitch my Heart** and **Clumsy**

Also, although they're not reviewers, these are some good authors to check out:

Rosefire 

**Snowgirl**

**Saro**

**JadeWing**

And, always and forever one of the best authors out there is **Thunk** (her alternate couplings blow me away)


	14. An unplanned rendezvous

**To Live Again**

**By Rurouni Star**

Here it is. The part everyone's been waiting for (I have too).

**Aiwendil:** Poor Inu Yasha… been trying to keep myself from making Kagome go running back to him, and it's HARD.

**Shichan:** I'm happy that I've been able to keep up with the updates like this. It's mostly because it's summer and I have more time to write.

**Ladyofthedragons:** Wonderful! Can I be malevolent and cruel as well?

**Profiler120:** I liked that one myself. And poor Kagome's got no shards left! *sniff* As for updates, I'm the fastest typist I know, but that has little to do with it. It's mostly because I get to stay up later now. I get on a roll, and no one can tear me away from my computer.

**Grets:** ITAI!!!!!!!!

**Tidus:** Of course I'll give you more. I'm just that nice.

**Chapter 14 – An Unplanned Rendezvous **

Days later, Sesshoumaru was sitting at the top of a tree, which conspicuously was missing a certain girl at the bottom. The sun peeked over the horizon, and he half expected her to call up to him to ask whether she could bathe herself quickly. But she didn't. She wasn't there.

Why did this bother him?

Rin had asked where she was as soon as she'd woken that day the woman left. Sesshoumaru didn't have an answer for her, so he didn't say anything. Jaken had fidgeted uncomfortably, but also said nothing.

Even An and Un seemed to miss her. Their eyes were dull, and their necks drooped in a way that might have looked amusing, had it not been so representative of them all.

What was it about that girl that had left such a hole in their group? It hadn't been missing anything before she'd arrived, but now that she was gone, everything seemed empty.

The decision to try to find her was surprisingly easy to make, even without telling the others in their band. Sesshoumaru did not travel through the air that day. Instead, he followed her scent, and the rest followed him in turn.

He was determined to learn it. Why she still haunted him after she'd left. Why he couldn't forget now.

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"You're saying that Kagome-sama really was here?" Miroku asked Inu Yasha in an amazed tone. He could remember her presence vaguely, and a soothing hand that touched his cheek, as if disbelieving that he was there.

"I didn't mean to run away and leave you to die, Miroku. I swear, I'll save you still somehow." Had he imagined that? No. She'd been worried for him. The monk's right hand clenched involuntarily at the reminder. He was probably beyond saving, but… it was nice to know she hadn't forgotten him. He'd been afraid of losing one of the few people he'd let himself grow close to.

"She was here," said the hanyou in an empty voice. It was the same voice he'd had ever since he'd made her leave. Shippo was still sniffling.

"Why'd she have to go again?" he wailed. "It's not fair!" Sango picked up the kitsune and held him close to her, obviously having the same thoughts. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears.

"Because it's not safe here!" Inu Yasha yelled. "Naraku killed Kikyo before without a thought. He'll do it to Kagome too. Is that what you all want?" Shippo stopped crying, obviously speechless. Tears stood out on the half demon's face.

"Inu Yasha..." Sango breathed. "You- you miss her a lot, don't you?" He turned away with a choked 'feh'.

Miroku's face tightened, and he hit him over the head with his staff.

"What part of her being here without you is safe?" he said to the hanyou. "If she's alone, it's even worse!" Shippo began to cry harder, and Sango looked on the verge of letting her own tears loose herself. Miroku found himself sharing such an emotion as Kirara yowled pitifully.

"We all agreed that she should go back to her world," Inu Yasha said quietly. "It's – it's not my fault she didn't listen. If I ignore her she'll go back, I know she will." Miroku looked down at the ground.

"It's no use keeping her away if she won't listen," the priest said. "We need to bring her back, Inu Yasha. No matter the cost to your stubborn pride."

"What pride?" the dog demon said miserably. "If I could have her with me again... just for a little bit...I'd give up all of my stupid pride. But I'm not going to put her in danger. She's gone home – she took a shard with her."

Miroku sighed, and put a hand on Sango's shoulder comfortingly. Things weren't the same without Kagome.

"I swear, I'll save you still somehow." And he was certain she hadn't gone back home.

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The object of so much confusion and so many tears was currently wondering why so many demons were inexplicably attracted to her. That day, she'd already had to kill at least three.

She didn't have any Shikon shards. She couldn't imagine what it was that made the demons seek her out. Perhaps it was just that she looked so helpless.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Kikyo's reincarnation. What are you doing without your puppy to protect you, girl?" The voice startled her terribly, making Kagome freeze in her tracks. How had she not felt the woman's presence? Had she really been brooding so much that the wind user could sneak up on her without effort?

Kagome fingered her bow. She wondered about her chances of taking out Kagura before the demon could kill her. There was only one way to find out, after all.

Kagome pulled her bow from her shoulder and nocked an arrow, but as soon as she'd drawn a bead on the wind user, the bow was knocked from her hands.

"You were rather stupid to come out here alone," Kagura said, and Kagome thought she detected a hint of regret in her voice. "I suppose that means you won't be killing Naraku too soon." Kagura drew back her fan and threw her blades of wind at the miko. Kagome hurriedly dodged, wincing as she found she wasn't fast enough. One of the blades hit her shoulder and another sliced across her leg. She stumbled and fell while a few feet from her bow.

"I even gave you a chance there," Kagura lamented. "You were so close." Kagome pulled herself up and turned around to stare at her.

"Stop taunting me," she told her. "If you're going to kill me, then do it." She reached for her bow with her uninjured arm, already knowing that she wouldn't be able to draw it.

Kagura sighed. "Fine, girl. Be that way." Her fan came back again to deal the final blow. Kagome squeezed her eyes shut tightly, knowing that there was no way for her to get to her bow in time.

The blow never came.

The girl opened her eyes slowly, and gaped. Kagura's fan lay at her feet, cut into two neat pieces.

"You are attacking one of my group, Kagura," a cold voice informed the female demon. "This has happened before." Kagome turned her eyes to the speaker disbelievingly. 

"Sesshoumaru," Kagura muttered, sounding almost as confused. She spotted his new arm. "What are you doing with a Shikon shard? I thought you didn't value them! If you'd accepted my offer, this wouldn't be happening!" The demon lord paused.

"I don't care about your reasons, Kagura. I have warned you before." The wind user fell back uneasily. She fingered one of the feathers in her hair as Sesshoumaru raised Toukijin again.

Kagome tried to stand, shaking. Her life had just officially gone to hell. Literally, considering whose offspring was attacking her.

Sesshoumaru flicked his eyes to where she stood. The idiotic girl must have known that something like this would happen. Naraku took every chance that was given him. She had been an idiot.

Kagura bit her lip and transformed her feather while the demon lord was distracted, floating into the air. Naraku was not going to like this. But at least the girl had gotten away, and she'd found her excuse. She knew somehow that the miko was the key to her freedom. There was no way she would exterminate her now.

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They stood there, facing off against each other for what seemed like hours. Kagome leaned on her bow tiredly, ignoring how the demon's gaze had traveled to her hair. She'd had it cropped to the nape of her neck, curling under slightly at the loss of weight. She didn't know how it looked, nor did she particularly care. It wasn't like she was going to try to impress the demons that tried to kill her.

"Why are you here?" she asked him grimly. Sesshoumaru replaced Toukijin in its sheathe. 

"Our business is not yet concluded." Kagome breathed deeply, trying to regain her strength. 

"Is that all? I'm sure you can kill Naraku on your own." Sesshoumaru's gaze hardened.

"Wrong business." He was suddenly in front of her, grasping her arm with his new one. "You never answered my question. Why did you give me the shard?" Kagome winced. Her wounds pained her without her bow to lean on.

"Because I thought I was your friend, damn it!" The demon lord's eyes narrowed.

"I am no one's friend, human." He was prepared for her slap this time, and intercepted the wrist that flew toward him. The girl struggled vainly to escape his grasp, her angry eyes staring into his.

"I told you to stop calling me that! I answered your stupid question so now you can go." It was beginning to really hurt, standing on that leg.

Sesshoumaru did not release his grip or even turn his head away. He stared at her quietly, looking perplexed. He lowered his head, looking more closely at her face, the one that had haunted him... those angry eyes became confused and the fire in them quelled. His gaze traveled to her slightly parted lips, and then…

…and then, almost as suddenly as the nearly magnetic pull had started, he pulled back. The demon held her at arm's length almost disbelievingly before letting her go. He turned, then, and left quite suddenly. She stared after him.

_Did I just imagine that?_

Her leg gave out then, and she bit back a curse. Just like that jerk, leaving her to crawl to her backpack and try to bandage her own wounds with one faulty arm.

She remembered his eyes, though, so confused. What did it mean?

She didn't know whether things were looking up yet. But they'd just gotten a whole lot more interesting.


	15. Whirlwind

**To Live Again**

**By Rurouni Star**

**Profiler120:** Nope. He's still semi-unaware of her presence. The rest of the gang are probably going to kick his butt into gear soon, though.

**SailorPanda:** Hmm… good idea. ^_~ Just kidding.

**StDogbert:** That they are! The cogs in my mind are turning double time now. By the way… would you happen to be a distinguished member of the DNRC? I am!

**Mala Valvah:** I like torturing poor fluffy. He's so easy to do it to!

**Tidus:** Far be it for me to keep you from reading… *gulp* Your name reminds me of Final Fantasy 10, by the way.

**Lilserenity:** *glows with pride* Well!

**SilverQuick:** Sesshoumaru's still fighting his losing battle. He's stubborn like that.

**Ladyofthedragons:** I'm afraid I can't make myself wait too long on that. You're going to have to judge by the story…

Chapter 15 – Whirlwind 

Kouga was agitated. No, not just agitated, like he might be were Inu Yasha around. He was _furious_.

Not only had Inu Yasha fought him for a woman that he was too wussy to lay claim to himself, not only had Kouga had to follow him for three days just to discover that her scent was not just masked by his but completely gone, but Kagura was in the area and he'd lost her again.

No, that wasn't even the worst part.

Kagome's scent was mingled with Kagura's. And there was a hint of that jackass of a guy Inu Yasha called a brother in there too. Had the two demons plotted together to steal his woman? 

Probably. He was going to find out. And if they'd laid a claw on her...he would kill them.

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"Mou...it's freezing in here. At least we stopped by a river this time, I haven't had a bath in days!" Kagome rubbed her bare arms to get the circulation started again. Not only was it nearly full winter, they'd slowly been progressing North this whole time.

Where was a hot springs when you needed one? Did they only pop up when you had a perverted monk with you?

Kagome held her breath and readied herself to go under. Her hair was positively slimy. The girl dunked herself quickly and scrubbed at it for all that she was worth.

At least, she reflected, their cold overseer had allowed them a hot fire tonight. She thought of an icy Sesshoumaru melting by the fire and had to stifle a giggle as she came up again. 

But then, a shiver went down her spine as she remembered the way he'd looked at her before.

Melt indeed...but that was absurd.

Kagome stiffened as she felt the unmistakable presence of two Shikon shards headed her way.

_Not now. Not now. Not now._

"KAGOME! Are you all right, Kagome!" A small tornado whisked toward her, and Kagome went down into the water with a squeak as Kouga tried to stop but rammed into her.

They both came up at once. Kouga hugged her tightly, looking for all of the world as if she was his only lifeline. "K-Kouga-kun..." He inhaled her scent deeply.

"I thought they'd gotten you. How did you manage to escape?"

Not only was she not wearing a stitch of clothing, Kagome had no idea what he was talking about. It made for a rather flustered miko.

"Ano...Kouga-kun..." he blinked.

"K-Kagome..." he looked into her eyes, and she sucked in her breath as she saw the same emotion Sesshoumaru had unwittingly let loose before. Kouga leaned forward...

The girl's body seized up, and she pushed him away roughly, running for her towel.

"Do you have no decency? I swear, if I had another rosary, I- I- you wouldn't like it!" Kouga's eyes widened as he realized the situation. He turned his back quickly, hiding his beet red face.

"I'm sorry," he said in a choked voice. "I thought they'd gotten you." Kagome sighed, pulling on her clothes hurriedly.

"Who got me? Kouga, you're making no sense!" He turned back around when he heard the last of her clothing come on.

"Kagura and Sesshoumaru. I smelled them with you, and there was your blood too, a lot of it..." he trailed off when he saw her clothing. Kagome tried to relax herself, despite the fact that she'd just gotten her clothes sopping wet and it was freezing outside. The wolf looked completely amazed by her transformation to a miko. And now that he saw more of her… a miko with rather short hair.

"Kagura did try to kill me, but Sesshoumaru stopped her. He cut her fan up before she got too far, and she went running back to Naraku," Kagome explained patiently. Kouga was still staring at her, but the name seemed to spark a memory.

"This _is_ the same Sesshoumaru that I met, right? The one that wants you and Inu-koro dead? The one with the evil sword?" Kagome blinked.

"Oh...things have changed..." she scratched her head nervously. "Why don't you, um, sit down for a while. I wonder..." she gazed at the fire up the hill, silently wondering whether Sesshoumaru would kill him on sight. "To tell the truth, I don't know whether or not Sesshoumaru would-"

"He may come if he wishes."

The voice behind her made her stifle a scream. As it was, Kagome turned around to glare at the offending demon.

"Don't sneak up on me like that! I swear that just shortened my life by about a decade!" Sesshoumaru snorted.

"Humans don't have very long life spans in the first place." He turned to walk back to the encampment, and an arm sliding around her waist surprised Kagome. She looked back at Kouga with surprise, and he grinned.

"Now that you don't have Inu-koro trying to start a bunch of fights, you're free to be my woman, right?" Kagome swallowed. She wasn't ready to be anyone's woman. But she doubted Kouga would understand that. They'd reached the camp, and the other two inhabitants were looking at them with confusion.

Kagome looked pleadingly to Sesshoumaru to give her an excuse, but he was carefully avoiding her gaze. He may not have known that she noticed it, but it was fairly obvious to her after traveling with him for so long.

"Kagome-nee-san has a friend?" Rin asked quizzically. Kouga smiled, and Rin sucked in her breath. Her face went sheet white.

"What is it, Rin-chan?" Kagome asked concernedly, breaking away from Kouga. Rin was shaking and staring at the wolf, her small fingers curled into fists.

"Rin is scared, Kagome-nee-san," the girl whispered. "W-wolves...wolves scare Rin." Sesshoumaru's gaze had snapped up to Kouga, and he was looking very menacing at the moment.

"Wolves, hmm?" the demon lord questioned quietly. "Tell me, wolf. Do you attack human villages?" Kouga shook his head vehemently, still looking at Kagome.

"Not since I met Kagome. It wouldn't be right to attack humans when my woman is one." If possible, Sesshoumaru's face grew even cloudier.

"Interesting," was all that he said, though Kagome could swear he was sneering. She bit her lip as she comforted the small girl. Her reason came to her.

"Kouga-kun..." she said quietly. "I have things I need to do before I can give you an answer. I know you'll understand because you're hunting Naraku too. I still have to finish the jewel as well." He nodded seriously, looking as though he wanted to take her hands in his, but held back by the trembling girl in her arms.

"I understand. I'll wait for you, Kagome." He looked at Sesshoumaru once more before taking off in a swirl of dust, a bit disturbed by the little girl's odd fear of him.

"You're that thing's mate?" Jaken asked with a sniff once he was gone. "He smells terrible." Obviously, he hesitated to say anything good about a demon other than his master. And oddly enough, the toad seemed almost disturbed by her proximity to the wolf. Jaken was, in some twisted way, beginning to remind her of Inu Yasha with his reaction to Kouga.

Kagome's face darkened as she processed the question. "I am not! And don't say bad things about people that can't defend themselves! Kouga is a nice person!" As Jaken 'hmmphed' and turned his face to his master with a strange look, Rin hugged her tightly.

"Rin's sorry," she whispered to her surrogate sister. Kagome knelt down beside her, stroking her hair. 

"It's not your fault, Rin. A lot of people get scared. Just remember that I won't let anything hurt you, okay?" Rin nodded miserably.

"Thank you." The toad sat down quietly with his staff, and Kagome's thoughts strayed from the present.

Since when had this group become so dear to her? And since when had Jaken begun to be as protective of her as of Rin? It was almost as though he was thinking that Kouga wasn't good enough for her! But that was… completely insane! Kouga was a prince… who could possibly compete with that? Kagome had the sneaking suspicion that if Jaken ended up having his way, she would be a spinster for the rest of her life.

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Kagome sneezed quietly from beneath her customary spot beneath Sesshoumaru's tree. She'd never been to North Japan during the winter months before. It was something of a shock.

_I wonder if it will snow...Souta always loved the snow..._

She hugged her knees to her chest and blew hot air onto her hands, ignoring the hurt that still ached, even after weeks of being refused.

Sesshoumaru's voice disturbed her.

"You are that wolf's woman?" he said the word with distaste. Kagome made an offended noise.

"He declared it without consulting me. He's a nice guy, it's sort of hard to tell him straight out...and even if I don't love him, I think I could grow to love him. No one else will want me once the jewel's done, after all..."

Sesshoumaru shifted on his tree branch.

"You should know something about him, then. He is most likely the cause of Rin's death." Kagome's brows knitted together as she tried to work this out.

"Rin is...still alive," she said in a confused voice. Sesshoumaru was silent a moment.

"She was dead at some point. My sword is the one that raised her." Kagome looked up at him in surprise, but he did not look back.

_Is he inferring what I think..._ He did say it was his sword. And no one but him had ever used it.

"I can't believe that Kouga-kun would kill a little girl," she said quietly. Sesshoumaru snorted.

"Believe what you like. Demons are not the tame beings you believe them to be. You've been rather sheltered, I'm afraid." Kagome sat in shocked silence.

"He- he would know, though, wouldn't he?" she asked desperately.

"Not if it were his wolves." Sesshoumaru remembered the state in which he had found Rin, and a growl managed to escape his throat. He could feel the girl's surprise faintly, but it was hard to smell her from above.

"That's right..." Kagome murmured sadly. "I remember how we first met him. He'd left his wolves to feed..." she shivered, but it wasn't from the cold.

Regardless of whether she had more stories to tell or not, Sesshoumaru did not ask her any questions that night. It took her a while, but she did fall asleep. And her dreams were not good.


	16. Foolish hopes

**To Live Again**

**By Rurouni Star**

**Disturbed-demon-gurl:** If you look more closely, he gives off little signs. Kagome just doesn't know what to do with them.

**Suki:** Yep, that's what it says.

**INUGIRL:** Once a day, I can't really do much better…sorry.

**Sailor Panda:** 'it' means: used to refer to that one previously mentioned. ^_~ I figure it's what would happen if you got weirdly attracted to a fluffy demon. O.o

**Dumdeedum:** Kukukuku…you really won't like this chapter…Kukukuku…

**Mistress Fluffy:** *frown* Surely her getting rescued and all counts…

**Romm:** I feel bad for Kagura myself. It's not like there's much she can do about her situation other than miss a little more often than usual and hope for the best.

**X:** As though I don't know who you are… ^_~ You can do either one. I'm not going to get mad at someone for not reviewing! Although… I might put fish in your bed… *ahem*

**Moonwind:** Continuing, continuing…

**Tidus:** You shouldn't say such things. I HOLD THE POWER! BWAHAHAHAHA! I mean… kukukukuku…

**Evil Bunny:** Jaken isn't as bad as everyone thinks he is. He's just a poor little toad, looking for some love and affection… ^_^

**StDogbert:** It was my intention to infer that in chapter 15. He's not really happy with Kouga overall, now is he? If you want to check out the DNRC, look on Dilbert.com.

**Crimson-snow:** *blinks and counts the chapters* Cool. It's pretty long, too.

**Ladyofthedragons:** YAY! I'm MALEVOLENT! *dances in a little circle, ku ku kuing all the way* Actually, I'm afraid it's a trade secret. The EPA (evil people anonymous) won't let me give it out.

**Chenjen:** This one's my fastest updating one so far. I'm really proud of it. I don't think I'll be discontinuing it either.

**Chapter 16 – Foolish Hopes**

Miroku stole a quick glance at the taijiya, who was looking very morose. She'd barely touched her food...well, he knew how to fix her spirit.

"Why Sango, you're looking rather lonely over here, may I sit?" The rest of the table (consisting of Inu Yasha, Shippo, and even a suspicious cat) shot him dirty looks, but Sango simply nodded apathetically. Miroku raised an eyebrow at the three others and took his seat.

The cry of 'HENTAI!' came up just as he'd suspected. He was rubbing a few bumps on his head, but Sango was looking angry instead of melancholy now. It was a change for the better, he decided as he blacked out.

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_It's cold...I can't get warm..._

**_I don't care._**

_I'm so cold..._

**_I said I don't care._**

_Well you should...Inu Yasha..._

Heat, where is it coming from? I'm not cold anymore, where is it coming from?

Why is my heart beating so fast?__

**_"You smell good..."_**

_"I thought you said you hated my scent!"_

**_"That was...a lie..."_**

Kagome woke from the confused jumble of thoughts with a start. Inu Yasha? But Sesshoumaru had claimed he didn't care. Her breath was misting in the cold morning air. The sun wasn't there yet, and the world was filled with darkness. She felt for the blanket that covered her and nearly gasped. It was so warm! And it smelled the same as before...

The miko hugged it to her chest, closing her eyes and remembering the way Sesshoumaru had looked at her, just for that moment when he'd saved her. Something in her had responded, so different from when Kouga had done the same thing.

But she was sure she'd been imagining things! The demon lord hated humans. He hated her.

Kagome sighed, wishing she were brave enough to ask him right out. But it would sound so silly. She could see herself now, asking the demon lord if he felt something for her because he'd looked at her funny. And if he really did hate her, that wouldn't go over too well.

She let her face fall into the blanket, but she couldn't quite get back to sleep. Surrendering to the fact that she wasn't going to be able to sleep, the girl got up quietly, her eyes inevitably traveling to the demon above her. And for once… he was looking back at her. Kagome took an involuntary step back.

"I…I'm going to change," she told him meekly. "I'll be back in a few minutes." Again, the girl began to fall back from the demon's intense gaze, which hadn't abated in the least. She felt it on her back as she left her place beneath the tree, and sighed in relief as it stopped bothering her once she was out of seeing range. Kagome opened her pack gently and took out her gift from the villagers. She cast off the miko garments with an odd happiness and put on the silken blue hakama and gi the village had insisted on giving her. She had protested that the silk was not only expensive, but would probably get ruined. They insisted, and in the end she had taken the few outfits they'd given her. And she had to admit – it felt good against her skin. It didn't have the colors or the stitching of a priestess' clothing. It sent a fleeting thought across her mind – what would Inu Yasha think if he saw her now?

It doesn't matter what he thinks. He's dead to me. I have Sesshoumaru and Jaken to stare at me and Rin to smile and clap. I bet An and Un will even try to nuzzle it. They don't fool me, the sly foxes  – they like the feel of silk. It's got absolutely nothing to do with affection for me… although I bet they wouldn't protest to me scratching behind their ears!

Suddenly feeling much better, the girl returned to her new family. Their reactions were almost as she's suspected… but there was still that something in the way that Sesshoumaru was looking at her. When he came closer to her and rubbed the silk of her sleeve between his fingers, her heart stopped. Their eyes met for the briefest moment before he spoke.

"It is of good quality. It should stand up to your traveling better than some other silks." He turned away, and she breathed again. "By the way…" he added almost casually. "I have caught Naraku's scent at last. We are gaining on him."

What a bomb to drop on someone. _Oh by the way, we finally found the guy we've been searching for after weeks, maybe months of scouring the countryside. But that's not important._

Oddly enough, however, Naraku was not foremost on her mind. Neither was Kikyo's warning, though she thought on that too. 

She kept darting glances at Sesshoumaru, wondering what was going on in his head. His face showed no sign of excitement of finally catching wind of the thing they had been hunting for so long. She knew, somewhere inside of him, he felt something.

His hand...it had been warm. It wasn't right to think of him as ice anymore when she'd felt his warmth. 

The miko rubbed her arm where he'd grabbed it so long ago underneath the tree. She could still feel his fingers closed around it, his claws lightly touching her skin through the fabric of her gi. It had been both unsettling and comforting.

She looked back to the ground. It wouldn't do for him to catch her staring at him.

They walked for what seemed like hours, and the speed made her rather uneasy. Shouldn't they be running to follow the hanyou that had plagued them for so long? What if they lost him?

The thought became moot as the man in front of her stopped. She bumped into his back for the second time in their travels, and jumped back, embarrassed. But the demon lord caught her hand and that odd warmth suffused it again.

"You should watch where you're going," he murmured quietly, no hostility in his voice. His next statement was louder. "We've found the end of the trail. It was a decoy. He is elsewhere." The demon spoke without looking at her, and she looked up at him in amazement. It couldn't be. Not after they'd followed him for so long...

"That's...impossible. I swear I even felt his shards in this direction..." Sesshoumaru shook his head. Her hand tightened on his.

"He may be in the area, but there is no way to tell as it is saturated in his scent. He is probably as far from here as possible." Kagome let out her breath in disappointment. How much longer would it be before Naraku got what was coming to him? Would Miroku die before then? "There is a hot spring in the area."

Where did that come from? Hadn't they just been talking about Naraku?

"Wh-what?" she stammered.

"There is a hot spring very near us. We can camp near it if you prefer," Sesshoumaru repeated. His hand finally pulled away from hers, leaving behind a gentle heat that slowly dissipated. Kagome tilted her head in confusion, trying to mentally control the slight blush that had appeared in her cheeks.

"Thank you..." she said uncertainly. "I suppose I'll have to hurry, though. It's already pretty dark." They'd been hoping to find Naraku that day, and had continued long into the night.

"It is of no importance to me," the demon lord replied. Kagome rolled her eyes. If he so much as muttered about her slowness in the morning, she was going to kill him.

"Okay then. I'll be back," she said sarcastically. Jaken, too, seemed confused, and kept looking questioningly at his master. Rin gazed longingly after Kagome, obviously thinking about following her.

"You can go to the springs after her," Sesshoumaru said quietly to the little girl. He knew she hadn't relaxed in quite a while. Though it shouldn't have really mattered to him.

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"Thank Kami, I thought I was cursed to never again find myself a hot spring..." Kagome sighed, as she stepped in. "Ever since there was no Miroku to peek, the world didn't see fit to provide me with one."

She let her muscles loosen and inhaled deeply of the steam. The air blew across her face, making her shiver beneath the hot water. She closed her eyes. 

This was nice.

Of course, the law of the world stated that something would interrupt her first peace in a while. It had always happened like that, and she wasn't expecting any different this time. And, of course, she wasn't disappointed. The sound of bushes moving made her gasp and open her eyes. She might not have worried but that they were not the bushes on the side of their camp.

Kagome let out a cry as she saw a figure in red, looking at her disbelievingly. "Ka-Kagome..." That voice. It was the voice she'd longed to hear for so long...

"Inu Yasha?" she asked.

"Yeah. It's me." Just as she'd pictured him before, there was Inu Yasha, looking run and ragged and as though he was a thirsty man whom had just found water.

"Inu Yasha," she choked. "I- I thought I'd never see you again." He bit his lip.

"I thought so too. But I – I couldn't do it, Kagome. Everyday I thought of you… I couldn't do it alone. I'm sorry." The miko's lip trembled, and she got up from her place on the rock, pulling on her outer robe and running through the water to him. She embraced the hanyou with tears in her eyes.

"I'm so glad you're back, Inu Yasha...I missed you so much." Who was she kidding, forgetting about him? It was impossible. He'd been a part of her life that she just couldn't cut away ruthlessly like that.

"Good," was the cold response.

That wasn't Inu Yasha's voice. Kagome's eyes widened. His scent wasn't right.

She looked up slowly, feeling the claws in her back beginning to dig painfully into her skin. Naraku's mocking face looked back at her.

A/N: The clue is at the beginning, people. You should've guessed off the bat that it wasn't really our favorite dog hanyou (just our evil hanyou).


	17. Pain

**To Live Again**

**By Rurouni Star**

**PG 13 CHAPTER! But only if you're REALLY sensitive to some subjects. It's just in case.**

**SilverQuick:** He's beginning to loosen up a little. He really wasn't too happy about Kouga's little claim on Kagome.

**CrissyKitty:** Yes… unfortunately, I fudged on the title at some point. I changed it because the majority of the fic had mutated its title.

**Profiler120:** I personally think Jaken has more of a personality than just 'sniveling little follower'. Anyway, I'm sorry if I confused you on the traveling part. Sesshoumaru was searching for her before, so now that he's found her he's not just going to leave her there. I'm actually surprised more people didn't catch it, as I didn't spend too much time on describing Inu Yasha. He wasn't really Inu Yasha, so my mind refused to conjure a good image… ^^()

**Sailor Panda:** I'm hesitant to answer your review here because it would give away the chapter… so you can find it at the bottom.

**AbyssDemon:** Um, try not to take drastic measures in here *looks at the ceiling uncertainly* I'm not sure if it could take it.

**YoYo and Golden Vegeta:** That they are, I've been told. It's my crowning pride.

**Emme: **I'm bad at clues too, oddly enough. I always guess completely wrong in the murder mystery books.

**Dumdeedum: **Ah… now that's a compliment.

**Mala Valvah:** Like I said before, I didn't describe him well enough because he wasn't Inu Yasha. That was another little clue in itself, if harder to spot.

**X:** Thanks for the reviews! Let's see… moot was basically used correctly, but I got a bit tangled up in my words. Sorry about that. I'm glad you keep getting here 2 chapters ahead. It's always a nice surprise for me when there's two. ^.^

**Disturbed-demon-gurl:** I'm afraid Sesshoumaru hates Naraku's guts too much to plan anything with him…

**SilverQuick:** Oddly enough, you predicted a bit of what's happening. I didn't read your review until after I wrote this chapter… creepy.

**Chapter 17 – Pain**

Kagome didn't dare move. The claws in her back were positioned quite strategically near her heart. Naraku let his mouth break into a half smile.

"You're foolish, letting your guard down. Of course, Kikyo did the same thing." _Kikyo? Where is she? She said she'd be here._ "Ah. And our demon lord. Just on time." Kagome didn't need to turn around to know that Sesshoumaru had arrived just a moment too late. Her breathing quickened. She wished she could die before letting him see her so helpless. The feel of Naraku pushing himself against her was almost too much to bear, especially with only a slight layer of wet silk between them. And… and he'd seen her…

"Let her go." Sesshoumaru's cold voice whisked away any heat left from the hot springs.

"Why should I? Do you have a reason you need her?" Naraku's face had a cruel smile on it, as though he were playing with the inu youkai.

"She is helping me," came the response. Naraku's face contorted into a sneer and he dug his claws into her back, drawing blood. Kagome hissed in pain.

"Helping you destroy me, you mean. Ever since I took that human child, you've been after me. What is it with you dogs and humans? No matter. I found a better hostage than that little girl. You won't risk her life, will you?"

_He's talking about me. Sesshoumaru doesn't care about me._

"Why should it matter to me if you kill her? You'll be dead moments later." Sesshoumaru's cold voice didn't waver, and Kagome began seriously doubting her chances of survival.

"That's not what Kagura tells me. In fact, she tells me you've been taking rather good care of her. Keeping her warm at night like a little girl," the sneer was apparent even in his voice.

_Then that was him? Won't matter in a second..._

"She is a valuable miko," was Sesshoumaru's response.

"You're in love with her. A human. You're pathetic." The claws dug deeper still, creating a gouge in her back. Kagome, however, refused to scream. Only a small whimper escaped her... but she was sure Sesshoumaru had heard it. 

"Your mind is twisted, Naraku." There was a definite growl in Sesshoumaru's voice now, probably at being so insulted. 

Naraku raised an eyebrow and chuckled. "Is it now? So it wouldn't matter… not at all, if I did this, for instance?" He pulled the girl against him, the slight silk not enough to hide the fact that she was tightly pressed against the half demon, his hand against her chest. Had the circumstances been anything else, she would most likely have yelled at the idiot that would touch her like that. But she was at his mercy, and she knew it.

Something seemed to have Naraku amused. It probably had to do with the sound of metal on metal as Sesshoumaru drew his blade quickly. Kagome closed her eyes, knowing that there was a terrifying glare on the demon lord's face that spoke of murder. Kagome let out a cry as Naraku pressed his claw deeply into her back, his smirk widening all the while at something she couldn't see. Her vision was slowly becoming blurry, though she wasn't wounded at all on her head. Something was terribly wrong. His other hand, which had bothered her so much, pulled back and hit her in the chest. Something broke. She hoped desperately that it was a rib and not her collarbone.

"Lower your sword. Throw it to the ground. I can kill her so that even the Tenseiga won't bring her back," Naraku said coldly. With a sinking feeling, Kagome heard the clang of metal on rock.

But just as she felt the hanyou's smirk grow and his claws begin to go deeper, something inside of her stirred. A painful sensation for all that it felt cleansing, Kagome began to feel as though her body were housing some animal trying to burst free. Naraku stiffened, and for a moment, she thought he might let her go. But instead, he looked over her shoulder at Sesshoumaru, and then, quite deliberately, lowered his lips to hers, hungrily pushing open her mouth and invading it, even as the light escaped her. It turned his body to ash almost instantly. _You're mine, miko, and you will know it beyond doubt soon._ Kagome began to shiver uncontrollably as the ash crumbled away to reveal a small wooden doll inside. She fell into the springs again, unable to support herself and screaming as the hot water hit her back. A gasp attempted to escape her, but liquid invaded her throat. The only result was a bubble of air, floating surreally to the top of the water. She could see the stars above her, she noticed from somewhere in her pain, and the bubble popped as it reached the surface. It obscured her view of the pinpricks of light even as she began to drown. Oddly, there were no thoughts in her mind of dying or even of regret. Only two – that she had been terribly violated by Naraku and that the stars were much too beautiful to be seen while in pain.

Something grasped her arm, then, and she was pulled from the water, into warmth. Her eyes registered the spreading red coloring the water, much more than was healthy for her, she knew. Kagome coughed up the water violently, wishing that she could also rid her mouth of the sickening taste of Naraku. The demon lord looked her over once, an expression of inarticulate rage on his face. Almost as soon as she registered this, he set her down on the ground and regained control of himself.

"This will hurt," Sesshoumaru told her quietly. The quiet 'shink' of metal against metal met her ears as he drew his sword.

_Is he going to put me out of my misery?_ she thought in a haze. _Would I even mind at this point?_

A bone came back into place with a sickening crack. Kagome screamed.

The sword swung just above her head several more times, and each time one of the terrible gouges in her back closed, the skin melting back together painfully.

It was done before she could say a word, but her body was still on fire. A quiet sob escaped her.

"I should have been more careful," the demon lord observed coldly. "Naraku left behind a surprise to delay us from giving chase." He picked up her shivering form in a surprisingly gentle way.

_"You're in love with her. A human."_ Naraku had to have been mistaken. Sesshoumaru must have known what would happen when her body felt her panic. But Naraku would never get that close to her again now that he knew what would happen. Kagome's hand trembled as it clutched the demon's haori.

"It...hurts..." she moaned, her eyes shut tightly. The man that moved with her paused momentarily, and she expected him to say it. To say he couldn't care less.

But instead, he simply kept walking, that stormy expression battling to escape his control.

"Sesshoumaru-sama! Is Kagome-nee-san done yet? Can Rin go into the hot springs?"

The demon lord shook his head. "They are polluted." The miko's body spasmed in his arms, and he resisted the urge to look down at her. "Naraku's miasma has poisoned her. It would kill a normal human, but it will only last the night for such a miko. Her powers have already begun to purify it." Kagome's breathing picked up slightly at the thought of bearing such pain all night. She wouldn't be able to sleep.

Rin seemed to realize that there was something wrong with her now. "Rin understands," she said quietly. "Rin will leave Kagome-nee-san alone now." Jaken muttered something about human hearing being insufficient for detecting danger in a rather concerned tone for a toad before leading the girl toward An and Un to eat.

Kagome tried to get herself under control as Sesshoumaru sat next to the fire, still not releasing her. Probably because she was still wet. Her mind wouldn't let her dwell on the immodesty of the situation for long as it reminded her of more important things. And besides… it was Sesshoumaru. Not Naraku. Even if the demon lord was going to kill her eventually, it was just somehow different.

"Why..." another terrible pain wracked her small frame. "Why do you bother?" The demon didn't look at her. "Why don't you leave me somewhere to rot? I haven't done a single useful thing since you..." She stopped and squeezed her eyes shut with a gasp.

Sesshoumaru's grip on her tightened almost imperceptibly.

"Talk later. You're only making this harder on yourself," he told her calmly. Kagome took another shaky breath, trying to ignore the pounding in her head and the burning in every nerve. She buried her head in the demon's haori, blessing his comforting scent. It didn't make the pain subside, but it made it more bearable.

Rin ate in complete silence, occasionally glancing uneasily at her toad companion as Kagome shook in pain. Eventually, however, even Rin had to sleep. The little girl nearly dropped into her stew before Sesshoumaru nodded his head and Jaken pulled her over to the customary sleeping spot in between An and Un's heads.

The night drew on, and the girl's pain increased steadily. At some point in her tired and pained state, one of the demon's hands settled on her head, calming her somewhat. Sesshoumaru didn't need to do much other than to be near her, somehow. She was still smeared with her own blood, and she could only guess that she smelled like the bastard that had nearly killed her. But the blood stained Sesshoumaru's haori without his concern, even though she quite clearly remembered him sparing her because he might have gotten messy. And he made no comment on her smell, in fact, made no comment at all other than to hold her while she sobbed in pain.

Kagome shivered as the pain subsided slowly with the sunrise, being filtered from her blood. She had no idea that she was falling asleep against the lord of the West, and if she had, she might not have cared so much.

And, Sesshoumaru found, neither did he.

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"Naraku did not attempt anything else last night, Sesshoumaru-sama?" Jaken asked his master in an embarrassed voice. He wasn't blind to the girl sleeping in the crook of the demon's arm, but he surely didn't want to admit it.

"No. He was preoccupied with something, I believe." Sesshoumaru's gaze traveled Southward. "My brother is coming for him." Jaken blinked.

"H-How do you know that?" he asked in surprise. The demon lord looked down at Kagome.

"I am fairly sure that a certain monk in their group is trying to kill Naraku rather expediently. The trail Naraku left was not intentional, I believe. He simply took advantage of the fact that somehow he regained his ability to mask it. That suggests something to me, but it is only a suspicion." Jaken nodded, not quite understanding, but not wanting to look stupid.

"Will Jaken come with Rin to look for breakfast?" a sleepy voice asked. "Rin is hungry." Jaken looked to Sesshoumaru for confirmation, but the demon shook his head slightly.

"Naraku is still here somewhere. I do have my doubts as to how long my brother can hold his attention." _But whether or not he holds Naraku's attention, he should be the thing Naraku fears most. It is good, for once, that I play the distracter._

"I will watch Rin then, Sesshoumaru-sama," the toad said quietly with one last glance at the human miko. He took the girl by the arm and dragged her to An and Un, muttering something about picking more flowers for the human.

Sesshoumaru's gaze reflexively dropped to the girl in his arms. He could let her go. She was dry and probably wouldn't notice.

His arms didn't move.

_"You're in love with her. A human."_ Was this what Naraku had meant? This feeling that made him not want to put her down.

Why was he even bothering to listen to his enemy? Everything Naraku ever said was meant to confuse or hurt the one that listened. 

But why had he put down Toukijin, then? This curiosity about Kagome could not possibly extend to ending his own life. 

Naraku could not possibly be right, the demon lord thought with a sinking feeling. He was not in love with her.

The girl stirred slightly, moving closer still to the warmth Sesshoumaru provided. She seemed very peaceful now that the poison was gone. He felt an overwhelming urge to stroke her hair again, but quieted it. Not only would it wake her from sleep she desperately needed, it would defeat the conclusion he had finally made himself believe.

He settled for a compromise between his heart and peace of mind by actively pulling her close to his chest. Warmth would help recovery.

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_Badum, badum._

A heartbeat?

_Badum, badum._

Whose?

_Badum, badum._

The comforting scent assailed her senses again, and a name floated to the surface of her mind. It wasn't the one she would normally have expected.

Sesshoumaru.

It was his heartbeat. He had a heart. And it was his warmth surrounding her in this peaceful place. She moved closer and smiled unconsciously. Soon after, his arm drew her in to his chest and the heartbeat became slightly more noticeable.

_Badum, badum._

_He does have a heart. Just like everyone else._

Kagome finally felt at peace from all of her other troubles. They dissolved before her, scattering on the wind. And his heartbeat lulled her to sleep.

**

Do we have happy S/K people now? Come on, say it. ^_^

**SilverPanda:** Now for that review answer. Kagome basically saved herself from that one, but the mop-up duty was Sesshoumaru's. The whole poison thing is based on a particularly nasty virus I caught that kept me awake way too long with my misery and wouldn't let me sleep. It sucked.


	18. A battle of wills

**To Live Again**

**By Rurouni Star**

**Dumdeedum:** That was very fulfilling to me as well. I think everyone's going to go back to hating me after this chapter, though.

**Sailor Panda:** I wasn't in pain… but I had a stuffy nose and the worst insomnia ever, so I count that as worse. ^_~

**Emme:** Strangely enough, that was what I was thinking as I wrote that. Then I shook it from my head and kept writing.

**SilverQuick:** Maybe you should start doing Tarot readings? Lol. Update! Your story needs updating!

**Elemental Dragon:** Yay! That's what I was going for. That and it's nearing the end.

**Mala Valvah:** It was actually sort of difficult to write. I had to go back and add the little details that make it good.

**St Dogbert:** You're welcome. I'm a happy person myself right now. Although it's not really reflected in this chapter…

**Chapter 18 – A Battle of Wills**

Kagome awoke much more relaxed than she'd fallen asleep. Amazingly, she hadn't been dreaming that Sesshoumaru had held her – he was still doing so.

"You're awake?" he asked. She nodded hesitantly. "Good. Are you feeling up to chasing Naraku?" Kagome blinked at the suddenness.

"I suppose so. Actually..." she slowly got up from her warm spot, covered by his long haori sleeves and, oddly enough, his tail. She felt...fine. "Actually, I think I might be of some use if we catch up to him." She turned around to see the demon lord looking at her strangely again. "Why did you...why did you save me?" she asked quietly.

A million responses raced through his head, but instead of picking one, he told the truth. "I don't know."

Kagome was obviously taken aback. "Oh." She looked around nervously for the rest of her clothes, still only wearing her outer robe, and saw them neatly folded by her pack. She wondered in a morbid kind of way if she smelled horrible from the poison and the blood. Despite how dirty she felt, Kagome began hurriedly pulling on what clothes she could as Sesshoumaru stood. He walked over to Rin, who was waiting with Jaken, An, and Un, and playing hopscotch with the toad youkai.

"One, two, three, four – ah! Jaken-sama fell over so he has to start again!" Both snapped back to attention as Sesshoumaru approached.

"We leave immediately, Jaken. Take care of Rin and hide yourselves very well. Naraku may send out one of his detachments."

"Of course, Sesshoumaru-sama! Come on, Rin, we don't have any time to waste." The girl pouted.

"Sesshoumaru-sama's not letting Rin come?" The demon lord's mouth quirked up in what was unmistakably a smile.

"No, Rin. You would not want to come where I am going." The cloud began to materialize below him, and Kagome rushed forward to unceremoniously jump on it. A hand caught her arm, pushing her back off. "You are not coming either." 

A slow anger worked its way through her system. "You just asked whether I'm up to killing that jerk or not!" Sesshoumaru's hand had not let go of her arm yet.

"You are not coming." Kagome gasped as she was lifted, dangling by her arm, and thrown through the air. She braced herself for the impact, but was snatched out of the air easily by Un's teeth.

The cloud rose to the sky and disappeared. Kagome was put down gently. She stared unbelievingly at the empty blue space.

"That...bastard..." she gritted through her teeth, not caring that Rin was there for once. "I don't believe him! I don't! He took me this whole way and now he's not even going to let me fight! Why did he even need me then?" Jaken was backing away from her slowly, looking very frightened. She realized then that she was practically burning with an angry light.

Good. She could use it against Naraku when she got to him.

"Give me my bow," she ordered the small demon quietly. He blinked, seeming to regain some of his confidence. 

"Sesshoumaru-sama ordered you to stay here! And how dare you order me around like that..." he trailed off as the glow became brighter.

"My bow. That is not a request." Rin was staring at her sister in awe.

"Kagome-nee-san's so cool..." she marveled. "Just like Sesshoumaru-sama." Jaken was unpleasantly reminded what had happened to the human that had refused his master a boat. He reluctantly grabbed the miko's bow and arrows and handed them to her, careful not to touch her skin.

Sesshoumaru was going to kill him when he got back.

But Kagome would kill him before then if he didn't let her have what she wanted.

The girl's knuckles tightened around the bow, and she was gone into the forest, following the trail of a single shard.

Naraku would pay. And Sesshoumaru would definitely get his later.

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"Inu Yasha's not even putting a dent in that immense youki," Miroku observed in despair. "Perhaps I should...even if the bees are here, at least the rest would live..." A boomerang smacked onto his head.

"Don't you dare think about it, Miroku," Sango told him fiercely, not realizing that she had abandoned her usual overly polite name for him. She stepped in front of him grasping his right hand firmly. "If you dare to open that seal then I'm going in with everything else." The priest shook his head.

"Inu Yasha needs your help too much. You're going to have to leave." She stared at him, her spirits sinking.

"Then...then I have to give you a better reason to live." She pulled him forward by his right arm, pushing her mouth firmly against his. Miroku let out a sound of surprise. The taijiya pulled back quickly. "If you don't finish that later, then you're not the lecher I thought you were," she told him as she left. The priest blinked. A slow smile spread over his face then.

"Well how can I refuse that?" He picked up his staff again, though his body was aching from the blows he'd taken, and charged once more into battle, wondering in a bemused way if cutting off the regenerating tentacles was even doing anything. But really, there was no alternative. He couldn't get close enough to strike at his chest or head.

"Interesting, Inu Yasha," the dark hanyou said. "Your friends are helping again? I thought I'd already taught them a lesson." An appendage slithered around the priest, cutting off his breath. Miroku's eyes widened. He'd been playing with them all along.

Sango's cry made him close his eyes in pain. He couldn't even reach his seal for a final gambit. His thoughts became less coherent as the air in his lungs was consumed. Eventually, he heard a crack, and then felt nothing more.

Inu Yasha watched in horror as the two people fell to the ground, dead. Kirara fell from the sky as a dark arm pierced her body through. The hanyou let out a cry of anguish and threw himself against the monster called Naraku with renewed fervor. Naraku threw back his uncoordinated attacks with ease.

Shippo watched from his hiding place with tears in his eyes. Why couldn't he make himself go out there? Why couldn't he attack even though his friends were dead? He tried to make his body move, but it refused. Whether it was Naraku's youki or just his terrible cowardliness, the fox couldn't face the thing.

Inu Yasha was thrown to the ground, but his eyes were now unseeing. 

_I'm sorry. I failed you all..._

But Naraku's careless attack never reached him.

Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow as the monster's arm crumbled to dust beneath Toukijin's blow. Another grew back just as quickly, but the demon lord had stopped the deathblow.

Inu Yasha was pathetic. Why wasn't he getting up? His eyes moved across the battlefield and settled on the three unmoving figures. He recognized them from his fights with his brother and Kagome's stories. Something approaching pity flashed in his eyes for the barest moment, but was covered soon after.

His brother would not be getting up. He would lay there waiting for death. He had no reason to stay alive.

Naraku's attention turned to the new fighter. The torso of a man looked amused. The demon lord couldn't possibly defeat him with his own creation's tooth.

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed as Toukijin's evil aura began to increase. He calmly began to throw it from his hand...but found that his arm would no longer obey him. The weapon's power grew greater and greater, and soon he was straining simply to keep it from consuming him.

"It is a pity that you can't fight me for real," Naraku said quietly, in a darkly humored voice. "Especially since I'll be looking for that little girl of yours soon. She'll make a good dessert. You can't imagine how wonderful her skin feels…" The demon lord trembled with anger, but couldn't even speak for fear of losing his concentration.

Naraku laughed and moved closer, coalescing into a humanoid form once more and walking toward the inu youkai. "How long before it consumes you entirely?" he asked with a wicked smile. "Perhaps you forgot that it is made of my own detachment's tooth. Your own weapon. How pitiful," the hanyou said, unconsciously imitating Sesshoumaru's previous thought about his own brother.

A growl escaped the lord's throat as he saw the demon sit down calmly, watching him and waiting for him to die.

His panic only grew when that scent reached him. Her scent. What did she think she was doing here? And where was Kagura? Wouldn't she want to be here?

"Kagura is indisposed at the moment for disobeying my commands," Naraku answered as though reading his mind. "She didn't want to attack the girl, apparently. I took relish in killing her, and it was easier than it might have been thanks to the opportune dismantling of her fan." He smirked at the demon lord, who was apparently just remembering his role in that happening. His concentration wavered slightly, and the sword gained ground. His new arm began to burn as the Shikon shard embedded in it slowly took in the energy Toukijin was releasing.

Naraku's scream of pain cut through the deathly silence as the Tetsusaiga cut his arm off. 

Inu Yasha smirked coldly, his sword dripping in the hanyou's blood.

"Surprised? I'm going to rip you limb from limb before you so much as touch her!" It was the girl. She had so much power even while she was still miles away. Naraku bared his teeth in pain and pulled away from the enraged half demon.

"I'll kill the girl, Inu Yasha," the hanyou told him in a low growl. "You won't have anyone left and you will prostrate yourself before me." Sesshoumaru suddenly gained against Toukijin's power. Naraku was going to kill her. No, he would do much worse.

The thing was already gone, running toward the girl he had taken care of for weeks, an enraged Inu Yasha in its wake. Sesshoumaru growled angrily, realizing that he was being left behind. With Naraku's presence gone, the sword's power deflated, and Sesshoumaru gained control of it once more. He broke it over his knee in a rage, knowing that it would be useless against Naraku, even a hindrance. The demon lord turned quickly to begin to catch up with the two opponents.

A whimper from one of the trees stopped him. A fox demon tumbled out of the tree's branches, running toward him in a panic.

"Take me with you! We gotta save Kagome!" With no time for haughtiness, the demon lord simply picked the rodent up by its tail, turning to leave the empty field.

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Kagome ran with all the energy in her body, gasping for breath. She wouldn't make it in time. She had a sinking feeling in the bottom of her stomach that she had already failed in some way.

Her legs refused to obey her then, giving out for lack of energy. She willed them futilely to move, breathing hard, unable to do anything at all.

Shards. Her head snapped up. Lots of shards. And a smaller amount of shards moving with them. And then, farther behind the two but steadily catching up, a single shard.

Two shards coming from the east, coming at such a speed as she'd never felt before. Another single shard coming from the west.

Kagome's head pounded at their presence. The shards of the Shikon jewel were coming to meet in battle. All of them.

The aura around her died out slowly as she tried to regain her breath. It escaped her, fleeing into the approaching shards. She wouldn't normally feel the loss of the energy that went into purifying the shards. But now that the whole jewel was there...she had barely enough left to keep her alive.

A massive youki unlike any she'd ever felt before approached her. She panicked, trying to get to her feet, but stumbling. Why now, of all times? 

The first to arrive was the one with the most shards. Kagome fell to her knees again as the dark power washed over her. Her powers were not here to purify it. Her eyes dilated as her body was overloaded.

"Kukukuku..." 

_Not now, god, please not now... _

"Come, priestess. Let's try this again, shall we?" The thing grabbed her arm and she cried out as she was suffused in dark power. A large bead of light within the hanyou drew away her energy, attempting vainly to purify itself within the midst of so much evil.

A claw went around her throat, and she realized that Naraku had only one arm. The cause of his dismemberment ran into the clearing moments later, growling in anger.

"You bastard! Let her go!" Inu Yasha charged at the demon.

An arrow made him pull back in alarm. Kagome's darkening mind recognized the figure.

_ "I am not helping him, no matter what I do. I need you to trust me."_  Kikyo. How could she trust her when she was being suffocated?

The priestess' gaze flickered to her, and she had the strangest feeling that she was reading her mind. Kikyo's dull eyes stared into hers and Kagome knew that she still had to listen to her. Her mind began to fade.

"KAGOME!" Two voices sounded in unison as both Inu Yasha and Kouga tried for her. Kikyo looked desperate as she fired quickly, pinning Inu Yasha's haori to a tree and stopping Kouga with an arrow pointed at his heart.

"Don't do it!" Kikyo said in a cold voice. "I will shoot you down if I have to."

"Do it then!" Kouga yelled at her. "I'll take you down first!"

Kikyo bit her lip, but fired as he rushed her. The arrow was not aimed for his heart, however. It hit the wolf's shoulder and went clean through, making his eyes go dull. Kagome's mouth worked silently for air.

The last arrival came quietly, but no less urgency. Sesshoumaru looked fearsome as he gazed death upon the priestess. Kikyo stepped back in uncertainty. It was her last mistake as a whip of energy went through her body. Shippo yelped as he was dropped to the ground.

Kagome felt something snap inside of her. A small but definite line of energy was cut as Kikyo was destroyed, and the thing that had been keeping her alive was gone. 

"You haven't learned your lesson yet, dog?" Naraku snarled. "I don't need to kill you with your own sword. I can do it on my own." Inu Yasha was yelping with pain as his hand grasped the arrow that pinned him to the tree. It burned, but he held on tightly, trying vainly to pull it out.

Naraku's tentacle leapt out as his form once more collapsed into darkness, but it didn't touch the enraged demon lord.

It struck the fox behind him.

  
Shippo fell to the ground, eyes unseeing.

Kagome snapped. The last of her energy flew from her wildly, and the shards of the jewel were ripped from their respective owners, snapping together with a howl of the wind. The jewel, whole and purified and burning with a fiery white light, fell to the ground along with her dead body.

Only one person went for the jewel. The other went for his opponent's neck with a useless sword that couldn't kill.

When the light cleared, only one was left standing.

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**A/N:** Yes. Kagome is dead. I am sorry. *sniff* It's making up for sparing her that one time…

Kagome: YOU!

Ehehehe… I'm just going to hide over here…

Inu Yasha: *growls deeply, brings up a claw*

Um, not there. Here.

Sesshoumaru: *holds up Toukijin*

HA! That's broken!

Sesshoumaru: Care to test that theory?

Um… no. Got to go people!


	19. Requiem

**To Live Again**

**By Rurouni Star**

**St Dogbert:** He's definitely not happy. As evidenced by the fact that I am STILL running from him! *an energy blast from Toukijin goes past her nose* Uh, gotta go!

**Amarome:** I just love the heartbeat sound. It's so cool!

**Lonely Angel of Sadness:** *dodges the shuriken, throws a rubber ducky back* I can write what I want, so there! *someone taps her on the shoulder… a mob of unhappy reviewers is waiting with clubs…* Of course, I'll be writing what YOU want, though…ehehehe…

**SilverQuick:** I know what you're thinking too. You're rubbing off on me. *sigh* I'm still waiting on YOUR next chapter, you know. *shakes finger* Tsk, tsk. 

**Sailor Panda:** You always know the right questions to ask to make me unable to answer. You'll find the answers in the chapter. ^_^

**Rageful Jewel:** That's a really nice compliment. I'm glad I could brighten someone's day!

**Shade:** *points to next chapter* It's not done yet, sorry.

**Dumdeedum:** *whistles innocently* I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.

**To all those that suggest I revive her:** Um… I'll take the cookie, but no promises.

**Chapter 19 – Requiem**

Sesshoumaru stared at the dissolving remains of what had once been a commanding creature. 

Why?

He stared at the sword in his hand. It wasn't Tenseiga. At some point in his last attack, his brother had thrown the sword's twin at him blindly, and he had caught it, bringing it down on the thing that had taken her life. He had destroyed the creature called Naraku for vengeance with a sword that refused to obey him.

Why could he use it? His arm was still his own. He had no Shikon shard. Why had it worked for him?

The jewel shone before him. His arm was somehow still there, but he didn't care for the jewel. It had taken her life to repair it. It was useless.

A sob made him spin around. Inu Yasha had crumpled to the ground, the arrow holding him to the tree so that he couldn't even run to hold the girl he had failed to save. "Kagome...."

In that instant, the brothers' eyes met, and the impossible happened. Sesshoumaru brought his returned arm to his face to touch the small drop of water trickling down it. Why on earth was he crying for a pitiful human?

"God help me," the demon said in a shaking voice, clutching the sword with white knuckles.

Inu Yasha looked up and locked eyes with the man. "Bring her back," he said quietly. "Bring her back and you can have the damn sword. I don't care. Just bring her back." Sesshoumaru dropped the Tetsusaiga to the ground. 

"I don't care about the sword," the demon lord said quietly, his face shadowed.

"What? Take it! Take it, you bastard!" Inu Yasha cried. "You can't choose now to not care! I need her back!" His brother turned his back on him.

"I don't care." Sesshoumaru said. The words broke Inu Yasha instead of sending him into a frenzy as they might have otherwise. Kagome was gone – and she wasn't coming back ever again.

But Sesshoumaru drew the Tenseiga, contradicting his statement. The sound of metal on metal startled his brother from his gloomy thoughts. The sun broke through the clouds silently, shining on the sword of healing and sending a shiver through the hanyou's spine. Something was going to happen.

The world became silent as an intangible energy manifested itself. The air tightened, as though it were awaiting a strike of lightning. The Tenseiga's sickly reflected light fell onto Inu Yasha's dazed face, and he watched the blade as it rose high into the air above the demon's head. The light on it intensified, and began to quiver, like a candle's flame. Soon it was dancing wildly, uncontrollably, as though it could somehow mirror the rising power within the blade. The sword sliced the air above Kagome's body once.

There was a sigh, as though something had been lost or stolen away. The light that shone on the sword was quenched, and the air of anticipation died.

But nothing happened.

Inu Yasha let out his breath, losing the false hope he'd had. She really was gone. Even after all of that… even after he'd dared to want her back so terribly… it had failed. He dropped to his knees wearily, his head falling to his chest in an almost automatic attempt to hide his tears. But the sounds of a breaking heart could not so easily be concealed.

Sesshoumaru stared at the sword in mounting anger. The one time he had asked something of it, it had not lived up to its master's needs. And she was gone.

That now-familiar aching feeling in his chest had returned full force, and his brother's actions reflected almost exactly what was in his own mind. Or heart. He could never tell which was which anymore. But the demon lord had not lived for so long without learning certain things. His face went absolutely cold. 

If Kagome had been alive… she would have known, understood, the emptiness in that expression. If she had only been alive. But she wasn't.

Before Sesshoumaru could break the useless sword, a brilliant light burst from it. The slight shaft of sunlight that had claimed a place on the blade before now overwhelmed the senses instead of tantalizing them. The Tenseiga began to vibrate, slowly at first, but quickly picking up speed. A single, pure note pierced the air and joined the light, melding with it, intertwining with it, and somehow the two became one and the same. 

This energy, the purest, rawest form of an emotion its creator couldn't possibly have, filled the clearing. But it didn't stop there. It spread beyond, as far as the eye could see and farther. Inu Yasha looked up in disbelief as the sword's aura spread quickly, covering the immense field and nearly blinding him. He could not wrench his eyes away for all that his eyes watered at the brilliant white light. The arrow holding the hanyou to the tree disintegrated.

As suddenly as it came, it disappeared. The song vanished and the world came crashing down again. All was silent.

_Badum._

Inu Yasha held his breath, wondering if his ears had deceived him. Sesshoumaru stared at the slight, motionless body, not daring to even hope that it could be.

_Badum._

_Badum, badum, badum._

The unmistakable and beautiful sound of a heartbeat resounded in his demon ears.

Kagome drew breath and sat up, coughing, apparently trying to fight a hand that no longer held her throat. She wasn't prepared for the embrace that nearly suffocated her again. Inu Yasha sobbed into her chest and she gazed up at him wonderingly. The jewel was over there. The one he'd wanted since he'd met her and even fifty years before that was sitting less than five feet from her, and yet he was holding her.

"Inu Yasha…" She felt tears well up in her own eyes as she hugged him back. She'd missed him. So very much.

Sesshoumaru watched with an odd ache in his chest where he imagined his heart would be. He turned silently and left, the Shikon jewel and the Tetsusaiga left where they lay. Although his face was as calm as always, as calm as it had been the last hundred years, the fingers that gripped the Tenseiga were turning white. 

Such a wonderful, terrible thing it was. Kagome was alive. But she had chosen.

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"Thank god, Kagome!" Kouga pulled himself up from where he'd been, nearly bowling her over with another embrace. She smiled as Inu Yasha gave a shaky 'feh' from her side, still sniffing every few seconds with his back to her.

She returned Kouga's hug tightly. "It's okay, Kouga, really," she told him with a small laugh. "I'm not going to disappear." A small ball of fur wriggled its way between them, and Kagome's eyes widened.

"Kagome! I thought he was gonna kill you!" Shippo hung from her neck and she cried out in joy.

"I thought you _were_ dead!" she told him, shocked. He shook his head.

"I guess I was just unconscious, cause the bright light woke me up!" Kagome dropped to her knees.

_Sesshoumaru! He couldn't have...could he? He doesn't have any sympathy for humans!_

"That's impossible," came Inu Yasha's amazed voice from her side. He was grasping her hand again, as if to make sure she were real. "He really did. He used the Tenseiga's ultimate power!" Kagome looked frantically around the clearing for the demon lord. He was nowhere to be found. "That means they're alive too!" the hanyou's voice continued in an awed happiness.

Surely enough, a fiery cat came bounding into the clearing, two passengers on top of her. Miroku and Sango jumped off before Kirara landed, rushing the overwhelmed girl.

"Kagome-chan!"

"Kagome-sama!" The miko felt her heart swell so that it might burst out of her chest. People were surrounding her with warmth, the warmth that she'd thought she would never have again. She felt a sob wrack her as she returned their hugs, all of them, over and over.

But unfinished business always had a terrible way of interrupted joyous occasions.

Kagome's gaze inevitably settled on the one person that hadn't revived. Kikyo.

"She can't," Inu Yasha's voice answered her, the smallest bit of grief escaping his control and worming its way into his voice. "She wasn't living in the first place. And... and her soul's rejoined yours." The girl shook her head.

"She helped me. If she hadn't, Naraku's shards would have overcome everyone. The only reason I could purify him was because I was so close." Kagome walked slowly over to the jewel, her hand reaching out hesitantly to touch it, cupping the now clear bead in her hand. "Inu Yasha," she whispered, knowing he could hear her. "Can I have it? Please?" He blinked in surprise.

"Sure. I mean, it's been yours all along, I think." Kagome stiffened as his terrible words came back to her. He seemed to understand what she was thinking of. His face became even more pained. "I'm... I'm sorry, Kagome. You can't know how much. I wanted you home when this happened. It was the only way I knew how..." she nodded quietly, knowing that things could never be the same again.

"Then I'll get rid of the jewel once and for all," she murmured. "It will be an end to all things."

She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, sending herself into the depths of the thing everyone had suffered so much for. The world disappeared from around her, the sounds of joyous reunion fading slowly into nothingness. Even Kagome's great spirit, possibly the most powerful of all the souls of priestesses, was dwarfed by what she felt, enclosed in this somehow enormous space, which was itself enclosed by only a tiny jewel.

_You are the one that freed me?_

A voice penetrated her mind and she opened her eyes to see the depths of the jewel, reflections of herself all around her. Some were surprised, some were angry, some were smiling gently, all were captured moments of her emotions.

_"I am."_ She responded faintly, overwhelmed by the infinite vastness around her.

_Then tell me your wish. And beware – for if you wish wrongly then all will be for naught._ Kagome smiled shakily in spite of herself.

_"I already know what to do."_

She willed the power around her to complete the only possible wish. The world around her began to fade as her mind returned to her.

_You truly are a great woman..._ the voice said in awe as it faded away. 

"Thank you, Midoriko." The words were whispered aloud. Kagome looked down at the thing that had caused her so much grief. It was slowly becoming smaller, the power pulsating from it in scintillating waves. Eventually, it shrunk to nothing and the remainder of the pure light washed over Kagome's body.

"What...what did you wish for?" Inu Yasha asked her uncertainly, his voice piercing the terrible silence. Her smile turned sad, and she turned her gaze from his concerned face to the ground.

"A happily ever after," Kagome told him. "You'll love it." She got to her feet and brushed the dirt from her hakama tiredly. The girl began to walk away, to the complete surprise of all.

"Wait! Kagome, where are you going?" Sango's voice called after her.

"Don't know," the miko whispered. "I just wished myself out of a home, I think."

She looked up to see herself, a reflection in every aspect except for the longer hair that trailed behind her mirror image.

"You could have wished yourself home," Kikyo said quietly, touching her new, soft skin in awe. Kagome nodded.

"But I'd never forgive myself. And if you absolutely must find some selfishness to it all, consider it a parting of ways for us. I'm no longer you, not in the literal sense. Our soul has split." She ignored her reflection's amazed look and continued on, trying to ignore Inu Yasha's amazed cry of happiness that drifted to her over the wind. They could finish what they'd started fifty years ago. She'd loved him, true, but she'd also fallen in love with another man that couldn't care less about her. It was better that one of them be happy.

Happily ever after indeed. It was always happy for everyone but her.

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A/N: NOT THE END! Just gotta get that out of the way for those of you that panicked right there. After all of my lovely angst, I'm not letting this end so terribly. There's one more chapter, people.


	20. Of Endings

**To Live Again**

**By Rurouni Star**

Yay! Last chapter! I'm so proud… and so sad… *sniff*. I'm not sure why I'm posting it today, especially since I just executed a LARP I've been planning for months… but even though it's midnight, I'm finishing up! For those that want to know, my next fic will either be a Miroku/Kagome or another A/U I've been working out in my head. If you want a sample from the first chapter of the A/U, read it at the bottom!

Thank you everyone for all the reviews and the support. It really does make my day to find such wonderful reviews waiting for me. I hope you like the last chapter! It has something for everyone.

**Chapter 20 – Of Endings**

Sesshoumaru returned to the spot he'd left, tiredly noting that Jaken and Rin had started the long journey home. They would not have made it had Naraku lived, but there was nothing now that could overcome the staff of heads coupled with a two headed beast. And nothing that would be foolish enough to try something on those clearly marked as under his protection.

He could catch up later. There was no reason to hurry.

The demon lord sat against the tree remembering how he'd held her. Her scent lingered on his haori just a bit, tantalizing him with the short time he'd had. She was gone in a way he hadn't anticipated.

Gone like everything else he'd ever cared about. The tears had surprised him. He hadn't cried since his father had left. Pathetic indeed. With his last words, Naraku had finally told truth. He was pathetic, a failure at everything he'd put his mind to. And the full truth hit him – he'd fallen in love with a human. Of all things. 

And he'd lost her.

Sesshoumaru sat against the tree uncaringly. The sun fell from the sky, but come twilight, he was still sitting there.

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Shippo stared as Kagome walked away. 

Perhaps she didn't realize it, but Kikyo would never replace her. Not in the eyes of her friends or even Inu Yasha, though he now had his love back.

No one followed her, though. Why weren't they following her? 

"She left," Miroku said disbelievingly, his right hand forgotten. "I don't believe...she really..." 

"Yeah." Kouga could only echo him. "I don't get it, she looked so happy just a while ago." Kikyo clenched her fists.

"She gave up her home for me." The whole group turned to stare at her. "She sealed the well, to keep Naraku from going through. She could have repaired it with the Shikon, but she didn't. She brought me back instead." The importance of this announcement startled the group to silence. Shippo spoke first.

"Why aren't we going after her, then?" 

Sango shook her head. "I think...I think she wants to be alone just now. That can't have been easy," the taijiya said quietly. The fox looked on morosely, but didn't follow.

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Not too far from the commotion, a bloody figure gazed at its unblemished skin in awe.

"He killed me…" Kagura murmured quietly. "I felt it. I _know_ he killed me! He even tore my heart to little pieces." The soft memory of a haunting melody played through her mind, the warm feeling that had suffused her body, and then… terrible pain. Pain unlike anything she had ever experienced, even at the hands of Naraku. The searing sensation of something piercing her chest. A bright path to her current awareness… the creature jerked her head at a startling sound.__

A steady thud was emitting from her chest.

The wind user's eyes widened, and she pressed a hand to her chest wonderingly. The beat of a heart – her heart! – greeted her. She stayed there, in a heap on the ground, bloody and dirty, listening to that most wonderful sound for a long while. Her eyes closed, and she let loose a silent cry of thanks to the heavens, to whatever Kami had listened to her prayers. Even after death… there had been hope.

Her eyes snapped open at the sound of voices. Curious, with a small foreboding at the thought that Naraku might return to make her grovel again, to steal her newly won heart and freedom again, Kagura approached them. 

"She gave up her home for me…" that woman, Kikyo? But she didn't have the aura of death anymore. How? "She sealed the well, to keep Naraku from going through. She could have repaired it with the Shikon, but she didn't. She brought me back instead." Who? The girl? Kagome!

So she had been right after all to keep her alive. Kagome was responsible for Naraku's death.

Should this mean something to her?

Kagura pondered the thought for a moment.

It could mean something to her. Because Naraku was dead, it could mean anything to her. The woman smiled, and her hand went to a feather nestled in her hair. It could mean something now, and just to prove that he was gone… it would.

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"Girl." Kagome ignored the harsh voice. "Get up, you pathetic sobbing mass." The words weren't said in a rude voice, but more of a grumble. The miko refused to respond. A gentle kick in the side was her reward. Someone knelt next to her, and a hand grabbed her chin roughly. Her blue eyes met smoldering red ones, and she flinched away. "That's better," Kagura muttered. She stood up once more, having caught the girl's attention.

"N-Naraku is dead!" Kagome said with difficulty. "You won't gain anything from killing me." The wind user raised a delicate eyebrow and scoffed at her words. 

"Kill you? Why should I want to do that?"

There was a short pause as Kagome digested this turn of events.

"You… don't want to kill me," she said slowly. Kagura let out a soft curse and kicked her again, a bit harder this time.

"No. I'm free. In return for your part in the matter, I'm actually helping a damn human. Don't ask me why." The demon's hand went unconsciously to her chest, where a steadily beating heart had taken its rightful place. When she realized what she was doing, she jerked it back hurriedly and put on a self-righteous expression. "Well? Are you going after him or not?"

A blank face met hers. "Him? Him who?" The wind user resisted the urge to beat her head against something hard. She'd finally decided to do a good deed, and the recipient was completely missing the point.

"Sesshoumaru, damnit. Are you going after him or do I have to haul you bodily?" Kagome blinked.

"He hates me. We decided that after our bargain ended and I helped kill Naraku, he would be free to kill me again." Kagura ran a hand through her loose, bloody locks angrily.

"Are you deaf or just stupid, girl? Naraku told you what I saw. He's been taking care of you like glass. The man is in love with you."

Silence.

"Well…" What was she to say to something like that. "Well…" The crimson stained woman's face grew hard.

"You are really getting on my last nerve." She grabbed the girl's arm with her hand, ignoring the cry of protest. Kagome let out a small shriek as she found herself in the air on a flimsy feeling feather. "Now then. This is the part where you shut up for a while and I do my duty and then we split up and never mention this to anyone again." Kagura leveled a glare at the surprised girl. "Got it?"

It was all Kagome could do to nod helplessly.

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As Kagura's feather came out over the tree where Sesshoumaru sat, the miko had a sudden feeling of foreboding.

Just before she was pushed off of the flying feather… in midair.

Her scream of terror made the demon lord look around confusedly before a human torpedo landed quite heavily on top of him. Kagome squeaked as she hit something (or someone) rather soft, and her breath left her with a slight 'whoosh'. Sesshoumaru, being the inu youkai he was, did not have any bones broken. But that had hurt.

Gathering her breath for the best apology she'd ever done, Kagome began. "I'm sorry, it wasn't my fault, she pushed me and I didn't expect it and I couldn't do anything! I swear I didn't mean it and it'll never happen aga-" A clawed hand held her chin in place, snapping her mouth shut. Kagome looked up hesitantly. Sesshoumaru was not glaring or getting ready to kill her. In fact, that odd emotion was back in his eyes.

"S-Sesshoumaru?" she asked timidly.

"Why are you here?" he asked her. The miko blinked.

"I…I don't know. Kagura dropped me off here. I'm still sorry about that, by the way." He looked up into her eyes very suddenly. His fierce gaze caught her off guard.

"You're supposed to be with my brother." Kagome bit her lip uncertainly.

"Why?" she asked, confused. Sesshoumaru still wasn't looking away. Kagome started as he pulled her forward into his haori, his head burying itself in her black locks.

"Do I scare you?" he murmured into her hair quietly. She shook her head slowly.

"Not anymore. I trust you." He inhaled deeply of her scent before pulling her against him, her eyes looking directly into his.

"Good."

His lips met hers and Kagome let out a noise of surprise. The miko's bow dropped to the ground, though, as her arms came up to wrap around the demon's neck. Fire raced through her blood as all of the things she'd seen in his eyes but not dared to believe came to life. A growl escaped his lips against hers, and she shuddered, as it seemed to reverberate throughout her body.

At first, she was hesitant, but the thought came to her that she no longer had any reason to hold back. She could love him as much as she wanted and he wouldn't hurt her.

Kagome surprised even herself when she opened her mouth in invitation. The demon lord took it hungrily, his fangs nipping at her lip as his tongue slid into her mouth. The girl shivered slightly in response, and even that small signal made him pull her closer, crushing her to him and molding her against him. It wasn't enough to have her only burning against him, but there was no way she could be closer. He could never have enough of this fiery woman, and he'd long since resigned himself to it. As her arms wrapped around him, Sesshoumaru deepened the kiss, slowly beginning to realize that she wasn't going to pull away.

"You're mine," he told her in a possessive growl against her lips.

"But you're mine too," the girl muttered back.

He couldn't disagree with that statement. In fact, he rather liked the idea.

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The rather depressed group of people was surprised by the sudden descent of a rather large feather into their midst. What was more surprising was the figure on it, in all of her tattered, bloody glory. Kouga let loose a ferocious growl at Kagura's arrogant appearance.

"You don't worry about your precious priestess," the woman sniffed haughtily, despite her ragged appearance. "I took care of her."

The reactions to this statement were much different than she'd anticipated. Kouga leapt at her with a snarl while Inu Yasha attempted to pull his sword. He was held back by Kikyo, who had a strange look in her eyes.

Kagura's face was no longer smug as the wolf demon held her down, her wrists restrained. In fact, it barely masked a terrible panic. A whimper escaped her, completely surprising Kouga.

"What, angry because I gave her to another man?" she said desperately. "I'm unarmed, damnit!" Her hand went limp, and the wooden splinters of what had been a fan fell to the ground. The wolf's ferocious face turned confused as he looked at the shivering creature beneath him.

"Kagome is not dead," Kikyo stated grimly. "You can get off of the demon now." Kouga's face tightened.

"Even if she isn't dead, I have a score to settle. You killed my kin and animated them for your uses, Kagura. Do you deny it?" The woman beneath him squirmed, a terrified expression on her face.

"I had no choice!" she spat in a quickly fading anger. "I just did something good, you're not supposed to kill me for it!" Inu Yasha moved forward quickly, one arm going around the raging wolf's neck, dragging him away from the wind user.

"It won't hurt to hear her out," he said quietly. "You got caught in Naraku's trap yourself. You know how he works." Kouga growled deep inside of his throat, his gaze never leaving the female demon. He strained against the hanyou's grip to no avail. "Talk quick if you want to live," Inu Yasha told her. Kagura tried desperately to regather her confidence.

"I… I dropped her off with Sesshoumaru again. He took care of her before, he showed that he wanted to keep doing it, so I took her to him. Last I saw they were quite happy, thank you!" Her eyes flickered to the wolf with murder in his gaze, and she drew back involuntarily. 

_Damn me for not having a fan. I need to get a new one… if I live through this._

"And Naraku?" Kikyo prompted with a knowing look. Kagura gave her a grateful look, something she would never have seen herself doing before.

"He held my heart. I had to do whatever he wanted – and it's not like I'd willingly put myself in danger just to slaughter some demons meaninglessly!" Her feather quivered beneath her, ready to launch at a moment's notice. "I'm not saying I'm a saint, but I don't go out of my way to do that stuff."

"So you want me to ignore that you did?" Kouga shouted angrily. "Just have you apologize and that's it? You killed hundreds of them!" His voice dropped low again. "No. Hundreds isn't right. I can't group them together like that. Each one of them had their own life. And you took it away!" Kagura's feather rose into the air as her face turned frightened again.

"I could have killed you! All of you! Countless times!" she yelled back. "But I didn't, and I paid for it. So – so stick your stupid revenge where the sun doesn't shine, because I couldn't care less!" The feather disappeared into the distance as Kouga struggled against the hanyou's grip more forcefully.

"She's getting away! Let me GO!" Inu Yasha obliged him as soon as Kagura left their sight. The wolf went speeding in the direction he'd seen her go, and Shippo shook his head.

"That's going to be one weird relationship," the fox muttered.

Everyone turned to stare at him. He shrunk beneath their scrutiny.

"What? Miroku and Sango fight all the time, and we all know they like each other." The two in question blushed bright red. Miroku cleared his throat and attempted to change the subject.

"Wouldn't Sesshoumaru kill Kagome on sight?" the priest asked. Sango rubbed her forehead.

A look of comprehension dawned on Inu Yasha's face as he remembered Kagome's resurrection. "He was crying…" he murmured to himself. At first, his expression was morose as he thought of the woman he loved with his long hated brother. But Kikyo's feather light touch on his shoulder reassured him – as long as Kagome was happy, it would all be okay. A slow grin spread on his face as many things clicked into place. "If anyone can take him on, she can. Maybe she'll take back the rosary and collar him...I can just see the bastard being henpecked already." Kikyo's soft touch turned into an elbow which came down hard on his head. "Ow! What was that for?"

The woman raised an eyebrow. "You're essentially talking about me, you know." The hanyou snorted.

"Yeah. You always were a handful."

This resulted in quite an argument, although it was a good-natured one. Miroku grabbed Sango's arm, spinning her around to face him.

"What was that about when we survived this?" he asked her.

"Technically we didn't," the taijiya told him smugly. The priest's face froze. "But then, I don't much care for technicalities." Sango pulled him forward roughly by his robes and pushed her lips to his, enjoying the utterly shocked look on his face. It was rather frustrating that he wasn't responding at all, but then, it had surprised her too.

It took the woman a while to notice the sudden silence in the clearing. Inu Yasha gave a whistle.

Her first reaction was to pull back, but the thought struck her that she could probably be completely shameless just this once. After all, she had just had a death experience. Sango pulled the poor monk closer, grabbing his arms and wrapping them around her waist. His arms stiffened, probably because of many months of conditioning that told him this was the point at which he got hit over the head. 

Shippo made a disgusted noise. "Man, I don't ever want to grow up."

When Sango finally stopped for air, a light-headed priest stared at her. She blushed bright red. "Um...sorry?" she managed, her modesty finally coming back to her.

"In your dreams," he muttered, pulling her forward again for another kiss, this time letting her know in no uncertain terms that she could kiss him all she wanted to. Inu Yasha smirked.

"Her brother will be free now," Kikyo murmured in the dog demon's ear. "His spirit was trapped when Naraku took the shard and killed him, but he can now go on to the next world. He wanted me to tell her that." The hanyou smiled.

"She'll be overjoyed. As soon as she stops sucking face with the bouzou, that is. Might be a while."

*

*

*

*

*

The two figures traveled side by side through the forest, occasionally talking quietly. The sharp contrast was apparent, one with silver hair and another with dark black; one tall and well muscled and the other slender and lean. However, the connection between them was as apparent as their many differences.

"You smell...different," one said quietly. "The jewel has left its mark on you." The other stopped walking, looking at herself with confusion.

"Funny. I don't really feel different," she said aloud.

_You won't age._ Kagome started at the sudden voice in her head. She looked up at Sesshoumaru.

"Did you say something?" she asked him. He shook his head.

_Everyone can have a happy ending. Even you. Don't forget to say hello to your family when the time comes._ Kagome's mouth worked without words. _You truly are a great woman. But I've told you that already, and you should know it by now._

"Do you have another fever?" the demon lord asked wryly. She shook her head and threw her arms around him wordlessly.

"Things did work out in the end," she said, joy evident in her voice.

Sesshoumaru snorted and put a hand on her head, raking his fingers gently through the raven locks. "Whatever you say." 

**

A/N: 

An excerpt from my possible next fic (which I think I will have mostly finished before I post it – may be a while – sorry. In the meantime, I have a decent Miroku/Kagome almost done…)

**Title **All Life's a Play

**Summary** …and the players just got switched around. Kagome the hanyou is awakened from an enchanted sleep by Inu Yasha, who doesn't quite know where he is! Wait – Hojo's whose brother and why is the lecherous Miroku no longer a priest? The lines have changed, and so will the story!

**Excerpt**

That there was no breakfast was the first thing he noticed, but Inu Yasha wasn't concerned by it. He could always make something when he got hungry. His first priority was…

He looked out the kitchen window to where the blooming cherry tree awaited. 

No figure. No vines, even. So what had he seen last night? Had it simply been an illusion of his mind? He hesitated with his hand on the doorknob. What was it his brother had said? 

"…the priest sacrificed his life to bind the demon to the tree. Supposedly, the demon is still there, but that's only because no one knows what happened to it." 

He couldn't have seen a demon?

Inu Yasha shook his head violently. He didn't believe in legends. They were meant to attract tourists and spook younger brothers. And just to prove it, he would go outside to that tree – now.

He turned the knob and walked out, slipping on some outside shoes on his way. Inu Yasha made his way to the tree uncertainly, feeling a lot less secure in his confidence now that he was up close and could see the sheer enormity of the thing. It towered high above him… he couldn't encircle it with his arms even if there were two of him.

But there was no one attached to the tree. At all.

He put his hand against the tree tenuously – and let out a yell.

_"Kagome!"_

_An arrow speeding toward her – piercing her through the shoulder. A scream of pain. Blackness encroaching…_

_A man with a bow… himself! Stumbling, bleeding, falling to the ground beside his bow._

"Why…" a gentle feminine voice asked quietly. "You betrayed me…" 

Inu Yasha jerked his hand back with an oath. He jumped back from the tree with wide eyes and looked from his hand to the place he'd put it.

A girl. She was pinned to the tree by an arrow.

He _had_ seen her! He was seeing her now!

The boy reached out a hand to touch the specter swimming in front of him, but his hand went through it, and it disappeared.


End file.
